


Graham's Story

by Lilladyeva



Category: Elementary (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-10-26 01:23:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 35,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20733923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilladyeva/pseuds/Lilladyeva
Summary: Sherlock Holmes meets his younger brother Graham for the first time in years. They spend time together bonding about having a terrible father and then Graham tells him a dark secret.





	1. A New Lease on Life

**Author's Note:**

> Despite the warnings this is not a porn, it just has dark themes.

Sherlock was walking home from his meeting when just outside the door to his home he noticed the car. Dark blue, a luxury vehicle, a uniformed driver seated in front. That could only mean one thing, his father was here. Sherlock rushed up the stairs and was greeted in his living room by an unfamiliar face. A young teenage boy dressed in a t-shirt and basketball shorts. He had dark skin and dark, Asian eyes. 

“Who…?” Sherlock began and then he saw Morland approach and he knew exactly who the stranger was, it was his youngest brother, Graham.

“Sherlock!” Graham exclaimed and he rushed over and gave him a hug. Sherlock hung there stiffly unused to physical affection. He just let it happen, unsure of how to respond.

“What are you doing here?” Sherlock demanded.

“Graham wanted to see you, he hasn’t actually seen you since he was a baby.” Morland explained.

Sherlock narrowed his eyes. The answer was vague and suspicious. “Shouldn’t you be at school?” he asked of Graham. 

“Uh, it’s summer.” Graham snorted.

“Camp then, Father was always shipping us off from one place to another.”

“Not this year, this year Graham wanted to see you.”

“You could have called first.”

“I tried, your phone was out of service. I also tried e-mailing you but you did not respond.”

“Ahh, my phone was compromised recently and I got a new number. I also have been busy.” Sherlock had actually seen the e-mails but had been ignoring them. He had not actually wanted to deal with his father lately. 

“Well I was actually quite busy today.” Sherlock lied.

“I understand, I just wanted to stop by and let you know we are here. If you would give me your new number I can contact you and we can all go out to dinner some time.” Morland said.

“I have been rather busy lately, I don’t know if I am available.” 

“Understood, well, we will leave you be, this was only a short visit. Come on Graham.” 

“Bye Sherlock.” Graham said and gave him another hug and then they were out the door. Sherlock stood and watched their car drive away.

“What was that all about?” Joan asked, she had been eavesdropping from the kitchen.

“I have no idea.” Sherlock said.

The next day at eight o’clock in the morning there was a knock at the door. Joan answered it, nervous about who could be here so early in the morning. It was Graham, wielding a laptop.

“Oh, hi Joan, is Sherlock here?” he asked.

“Oh um, yes, come in.” She said a little surprised. “Are you alone?” she asked.

“Yeah, I took an Uber, I really needed to talk to Sherlock.” He said seriously. She did not comment on a young teenager taking an Uber by himself at eight o clock in the morning. She did not think it was her place but she doubted Morland would have approved. This was getting interesting. Sherlock’s family was always interesting.

She knocked on Sherlock’s door. “Sherlock, we have a visitor.” Sherlock immediately answered it, he was half dressed. 

“I know, who is it?” he asked.

“It’s… Graham.” She said with concern. 

Sherlock looked over to see his younger brother looking at him eagerly.

“What did you want?” 

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” Graham said, holding his laptop closely to his chest.

“Alright then, what did you want to say?”

Graham shot a nervous look at Joan. “I wanted to talk to you privately, I have something to show you.”

“Alright…” Sherlock said and nodded at Joan.

“I should get going anyway.” She said and she walked away.

“What did you want to show me?” 

Graham put his laptop on the kitchen table and powered it on. He then began to search through folders and began pulling up files. Sherlock noticed that they were blueprints and maps.

“I wanted to talk about Mycroft. About his death, he burned to death in the kitchen of one of his restaurants. It was supposed to be an accident but no one else was there. What was he doing in the kitchen alone? Also, I got a copy of the police report it said he was found here.” Graham indicated a spot on the blueprint. “But the fire would have had to have started over here, if he was really caught in the fire he would have had plenty of time to get out going along here.” Graham traced his finger along the screen.

“I mean they had to identify him via dental records so they don’t REALLY know what happened, my thought is that he was murdered.” Graham said the last part at a whisper.

“I don’t know who did it, but I got a list of suspects. People who I know he didn’t like. I don’t know if they would kill him, but it’s a start. He has an ex-fiancee, who he suddenly stopped talking to again. So since you are a detective, I was hoping you would help me find out who killed him?” Graham asked.

Sherlock sat there in silence for a moment and looked at Graham, he looked into his hopeful eyes and thought. Graham was obviously a smart kid, he had easily figured out that the story about Mycroft was a fabrication. It had been a good fabrication too. He looked at the screen filled with blueprints and lists of suspects.

“You did this yourself?” He asked.

Graham nodded. “When I was supposed to be doing homework, I worked on this.” 

“Well it is impressive.” He said. “How did you get a copy of the police report?”

Graham shrugged. “That was hard, but I lied and said I was part of Interpol looking into international crimes and they gave it to me.”

“You must have been very convincing.” Sherlock said.

“Well I did a lot of research on it before I tried, I knew what to say.” 

Sherlock thought for a moment. He thought about telling Graham to just leave it be, to stay out of it. But he thought of himself at that age and knew that that would never work. He also thought of telling Graham the truth but he put that out of his mind. He did not want to burden Graham with the full knowledge of what happened, that was not information you trusted with a teenager. He settled with a half-truth.

“This is all very impressive Graham.” Graham smiled at the compliment. “But I know what happened to Mycroft.”

Graham’s eyes swam in confusion. “Wait, what?”

“I know what happened to Mycroft, I was involved in the whole affair and you are right, it was no accident.”

“You know who did it? You know who killed him?” Graham asked incredulously.

Sherlock nodded. “Indeed I do. It was a dangerous and rather complicated affair.”

“Well what happened?” Graham asked.

“I can not tell you everything, but I can tell you that the people responsible are either dead or in jail.” Sherlock said.

“You can’t tell me anything? Why was it covered up? Why did people say it was an accident?” Graham demanded.

Sherlock hesitated. “I can’t tell you that, I would if I could but… I really need you to leave this alone. There is something going on here that I just can not tell you right now.”

Graham hesitated for a moment and stared at Sherlock. He was quiet for a long time and just stared. “Will you tell me when I am older?” Graham asked.

Sherlock nodded. “I think that is agreeable, when you are older I will tell you what really happened, but for now you should stay out of it.” Sherlock said. 

Graham nodded and put his laptop away, “Oh okay then, well I guess that’s all I wanted to know. I am sorry to have bothered you.” Graham looked crestfallen and on the verge of tears.

“Is that all you came here for?” Sherlock asked. “Is that why you wanted to come and see me?”

“Well I mean, yeah. I mean you are a famous detective and all I thought you would be able to help me out. I mean I guess I should have known that if I had figured it out then you would have already solved it.” He said dejectedly.

“Does father know why you wanted to come here?” Sherlock asked. 

Graham wrinkled his nose. “No, he thinks I just wanted to see you. I mean not that I don’t want to see you, but this… this was important.” 

“Why did he bring you here? I mean no offense but when I was growing up there were plenty of places I wanted to go but he just dumped me off at boarding school or camp and let them deal with it.” 

“Oh that.” Graham said. “Well he didn’t want to dump me off at camp this summer because I tried to commit suicide and I think he’s afraid that I will do it again. I just got out of the hospital three days ago. I was there for three weeks.”

Sherlock hesitated for a moment. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.”

Graham shrugged. “It’s okay, I don’t think most people know. But I just couldn’t handle being at that school anymore, everyone there was awful.”

“I know what you mean, children can be cruel.” Sherlock said.

Graham hesitated for a second like he was going to say something else but then he stopped himself. “Well, I mean that was all I came here for, so I guess I will get going now.” 

Sherlock was hit by a wave of empathy. Graham was a smart kid dealing with depression and their beast of a father. “Wait, I am not doing anything today. There are no interesting cases going on, so if you wanted to stay…”

Graham perked up immediately, a small smile crossed his face. “Oh, alright, sure.” He said. Sherlock could tell he was trying to sound non-chalant but his body language gave it away, he was excited. He was probably starved for attention. 

They spent the day together, Graham was very interested in Sherlock’s work. He showed Graham his work on the Black Dahlia case. Graham was also very interested in his turtle, although he was disappointed that the roosters were gone. Mycroft had evidently told him about the roosters. The more Graham talked the more Sherlock realized that Mycroft’s death had hit him hard. He talked about Mycroft a lot, things they had talked about, things they used to do together, it made Sherlock even angrier the way Mycroft had faked his death. Anyone could tell that Graham felt abandoned. 

Later that day around 6:00 pm Graham got a phone call. It was his father.

“Hello?”

“Oh, I’m with Sherlock.”

“Since this morning.”

“He picked me up.”

“Okay”

“Okay”

“Okay”  
Graham then handed the phone over to Sherlock. “He wants to talk to you.” 

Sherlock picked up the phone. 

“Father.”

“Ah Sherlock, I didn’t realize you would be spending time with Graham today, I’m glad. To be honest when we met yesterday I didn’t know if you would be interested at all in seeing him, I am glad you changed your mind.

“Yes.” Sherlock was not going to explain that Graham had surprised him or what they had talked about. He felt that would be a breach of trust. 

“Well I was wondering if you wanted to come to dinner with us tonight, it’s for Graham’s birthday.” 

“I didn’t realize it was his birthday.” 

“He didn’t tell you? Well it’s today and I wanted to do something a little special.”

“Because he nearly didn’t make it to fourteen?” 

“Oh, he told you about that.” Morland said flatly. “I wasn’t sure if he would, he doesn’t really talk about it, he doesn’t really talk about anything really.”

Sherlock shot a look at Graham who was examining a series of grisly photographs on the table. Graham had been talking to him all day, non-stop actually. He suspected he just did not want to talk to his father, which Sherlock realized was perfectly understandable. 

“Alright, I will come.” 

“Perfect, now give me back to Graham.” 

Graham spoke briefly, giving one word answers. Then hung up the phone. 

“He’s going to pick us up.” He said.

“You never mentioned it was your birthday.” Sherlock said.

Graham shrugged. “I didn’t think it was important. I didn’t know I would be doing anything. He’s never done anything for my birthday since I was five.”

Sherlock nodded. “What about your mother, have you seen her lately?” Graham’s mother had been famous for having drug problems as well. That was why Morland had full custody, it was not a secret, but it had been a long time, maybe Graham had someone else.  
Graham looked away. “Oh, she died. Six months ago, an overdose.” Graham stated matter of factly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” 

“It’s okay, I hadn’t actually seen her since I was five. The court said she had to have a year sober before she could even think about getting visitation with me again. She never made it farther than nine months.”

Sherlock was quiet, he did not know what to say. Graham continued more brightly.

“But you’ve been doing good right? How long has it been since you’ve been sober?” 

“Oh, two years.” Sherlock answered.

Graham looked confused. “Really? I thought it was longer than that. Only Mycroft said you had been sober for awhile.”

“Ahh.” Sherlock said, a little embarrassed. 

“Was it a relapse? That’s okay, I know that it’s part of recovery. I know a lot about drugs because of my mom.” He said quietly. “I’m sorry I brought it up. Two years is good.”

“No, it’s fine.” Sherlock said. He stood next to Graham and put a hand on his shoulder. “You know if you ever need to talk about anything, I am here for you.” He said. 

“Yeah, Okay.” Graham said without looking up. “Okay.” Graham gave him another hug and this time Sherlock tried not to be so stiff. He did not really succeed but Graham did not seem to mind. 

“My friend Jodi has been making fun of me for having a birthday on the fourth of July. She’s been sending me snaps of eagles all day.” Graham produced his phone and showed a series of comically placed eagles. “I met her in the hospital.” He explained. “She’s like my only friend right now.” 

Sherlock nodded and listened as Graham chattered. “I was actually excited to come to America for my birthday. I know there was a parade, but I thought there would be more parties.” 

Sherlock smiled “The parties usually come later. But I wasn’t planning on attending one.”

“Yeah I figured, that’s okay though, I can see fireworks anytime.”

They chatted casually for a little while. Sherlock gave him his number to contact him anytime and then their Father came to take them to dinner. Graham was quiet the rest of the night, he barely spoke at dinner, he also barely ate anything. When it came for goodbyes though he treated Sherlock to another Goodbye hug, Sherlock was prepared for it this time. 

Sherlock did not expect anything of it but the next day at 8 am he got a text from Graham asking if Sherlock was busy. Sherlock was surprised but he honestly had not had plans for the day yet so he answered that he was not and Graham asked to come over. Sherlock agreed and within the hour Graham was there. It became a daily routine for them, although by the third day Sherlock was sending Joan to pick him up. He felt his father would be angry if he discovered he had been letting Graham Uber daily across the city. 

Sherlock had originally done it out of pity, but he quickly found he enjoyed Graham’s company, it felt like he was mentoring again. Graham did not really care what they did he was just eager to tag along on Sherlock’s daily tasks. He liked the bees and the pigeons and he actually had a sharp eye for detective work. Morland called to check up once in a while but he soon stopped calling as he also got used to the routine. Graham talked about things, not serious things at first but Sherlock could get a hold on the things that troubled him. He had the same tenuous relationship with their father. Father was never around, could barely be reached, would say he was coming and then not show up. Graham also hero worshipped Mycroft. It seemed that while their father had been consumed with work Mycroft had been taking the load of caring about Graham. Mycroft’s “death” had hit Graham really hard. Overall Sherlock sensed that Graham was lonely, he understood that. 

The first indication that something was wrong was when Sherlock decided to teach Graham how to get out of handcuffs. Sherlock showed Graham the technique several times and had him practice on a pair of handcuffs. Graham seemed to be getting the hang of it rather quickly. The next step came to handcuff Graham to a chair to see if he could get out of it in a practical setting. Graham did not seem nervous, he seemed excited even. It started well Graham sat in the chair and placed his hands around the back and Sherlock handcuffed him in. Graham started off strong, he found his hidden pin and was bringing it around when he suddenly started to panic.

His face grew red and his breathing grew shallow, his arms trembled. He began to buck in his seat and yank his arms back.

“Relax,” Sherlock instructed, “You’re panicking, there’s no need to panic.”

“Let me out! I don’t want to do this anymore! I quit! Just let me out!” Graham shouted, now flailing wildly.

“If you would just…” Sherlock began as Graham flung himself backwards and with an audible crack hit his head against the floor.

“Just get me out of this FUCKING thing!” Graham shouted and Sherlock could see there were tears streaming down his face.

“Alright, alright.” Sherlock said, visibly shaken and he reached down and unlocked the cuffs. Graham lay on the floor for a minute breathing hard, tears streaming down his face. 

“Are you alright?” Sherlock asked tentatively.

Graham angrily wiped away the tears. “I’m fine.” He said shortly. “I just… I just want to go home.” He got to his feet and ran to the door, slamming it behind him.   
Sherlock texted him later that night and apologized. All he got in response was ‘K’. Graham did not call the next day, and Sherlock worried he had done something wrong. The following day though Graham did contact him and come over. Sherlock tried to apologize again but Graham brushed it off. He seemed like he did not want to talk about it so Sherlock did not push it. Sherlock instead started to train him in single stick which Graham seemed more enthusiastic about.

Graham surprised Sherlock several times that week with the ease in which he picked up these skills and with his openness. One day Miss Hudson was over and Sherlock had been apprehensive about her meeting Graham. He thought Graham might have asked or said inappropriate things to her. He did not, well not really. He did inform them that his friend from the hospital was transgender as well though and Sherlock had a brief talk with him about not outing people, but that was that.

This routine continued for several weeks and Sherlock was finding himself looking forward to Graham’s company each day. It surprised him, he never really thought of himself as good with kids. Graham felt different though, he was just old enough to understand things and smart enough to keep up with Sherlock most of the time. Sherlock was beginning to feel the joy he had felt when mentoring Joan and Kitty. 

One night three weeks in, Graham and Sherlock were watching an old movie on the roof, seated in beach chairs and eating popcorn. It was a movie Sherlock had seen several times so he did not quite mind that Graham kept talking over it.

“Sherlock can I tell you a secret?” Graham asked.

“Of course.” Sherlock said with confidence.

“I’m actually gay.” Graham said quietly.

“Ah, I see.” Sherlock said. He was not quite sure how to react. It was not the first time someone had come out to him but he was never quite sure how to react. He did not mind of course, but he was never sure if he should make a big deal of it or not. 

“Is that okay?” Graham asked.

“Oh that’s fine. It’s perfectly fine. I won’t judge you for being gay. I have a lot of friends who are gay.” He said.

“Yeah, I know, that’s why I told you.” Graham said. 

Sherlock waited a few moments, Graham seemed to be on the verge of telling him something else. Graham studied the ground intently.

“It’s part of why I tried to commit suicide really.”

Sherlock merely nodded, he had suspected as much. Homophobia was rough.

“It started last year, I realized last year that I liked boys. I told my best friend, he was my roommate and I told him I liked him. I asked him if he liked me too. He said he didn’t know and then we kissed and he said sorry and I said it was okay don’t worry about it and I thought that would be it but he told everybody except he told everybody I forced him to kiss me. Everyone hated me and he changed rooms and I had no more friends and everyone kept calling me a faggot.”

Sherlock put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Graham continued, he was not done.

“I didn’t think about suicide then though. I mean it sucked but I didn’t actually want to die because of it. Then I started getting these notes in my locker. Love notes from an anonymous writer. They said they were gay too and that they liked me. I didn’t know who it was but it gave me hope. It gave me hope for months. Then one day they said they wanted to meet in the boy’s bathroom after lights out. I didn’t know what to expect, I don’t know what I wanted to happen but I went. It wasn’t a secret admirer, it was my old roommate and his friends and they were going to beat me up when a teacher stopped them. Anyway, that’s when I first thought about suicide.”

“Kids can be cruel. I had similar experiences when I was in school.” Sherlock said trying to commiserate. 

“Yeah, that’s what Mr. Bradford said. The only reason I didn’t was because of him. He was really nice to me afterwards. He hung out with me, he even told me he was gay too.”

Sherlock froze, he had been a detective long enough to see where this was going and he tried to keep his body and face neutral as he let Graham continue talking. He hoped he was wrong but he highly doubted it. 

“He was the only one who listened for a while. Then he… well… then he got weird.” 

“Graham, did he hurt you?” Sherlock blurted out. 

“No!” Graham exclaimed. “Well, not really, not on purpose. He was the only one who actually listened to me, he told me he loved me.”

“Graham did he behave sexually towards you?” 

“It’s not like I didn’t want it. I was okay with it. I’m fine, we broke up anyway. I’m not even going to go to that same school, so it’s not like it’s going to happen anymore.”

“Graham…”

“You’re not going to tell are you?” Graham begged. 

“Graham I have to tell. This isn’t right, you have to go to the police.” Sherlock said.

“I can’t go to the police, he said if we got caught he would kill himself. He’d get fired, he’d go to jail. I can’t do that to him.” Graham said.

Sherlock turned and looked Graham in the eyes. He saw the desperation and fear there, he watched him plead. 

“Graham, you are too young to understand, but what he did to you was wrong. It is not your fault, what he does is not your fault, it is entirely his fault. You are a child and you have to stop him from doing this to anyone else.” Sherlock said calmly.

Graham looked away, Sherlock could see the tears in his eyes. Graham quickly wiped them away. He seemed to have struck a nerve. 

“Do we have to tell father?” he asked.

“Either I can or you can.” Sherlock offered. “But he has to know.”

“You do it, I don’t… I don’t think I can.” Sherlock nodded and pulled out his cell phone. 

“Hello father?”

“Yes I know what time it is, I’m calling about Graham.”

“He’s, he’s alright, but there is something I have to tell you, you had better come over.”

“No it can’t wait until tomorrow.”

“I know I am being vague just trust me on this and come over.”

“Alright, good bye.”

Sherlock hung up. There was just some information that you did not deliver over the phone. He looked over at Graham, he was hugging his knees to his chest, his face buried in his legs.

“Are you going to be alright?” He asked.

“No, he’s going to be mad at me.” Graham muttered.

“He’s not going to be mad at you.” Sherlock said. 

“No, he’ll be disappointed, that’s worse. He’s always disappointed in me.” Graham whined.

Sherlock crouched next to the chair. “He’s not going to be disappointed. No one is going to be upset at you I promise.” 

“Hmmph” Graham said in disbelief and that was the last thing he said. They sat in silence until Morland arrived. 

Graham stayed on the roof. He chose not to be in the room when Sherlock gave their father the information. Morland arrived and Sherlock invited him in.

“I gather from your curt phone call that this matter is important.” Morland said. 

“Yes, I need to tell you something that Graham told to me.” Sherlock started. 

“Why isn’t he telling me himself?” Morland asked. 

“He didn’t want to.” Sherlock said. 

“I see, well go on.” Morland said. 

“Tonight Graham revealed to me that a teacher in his school engaged in a sexual relationship with him.”

Morland stopped. Sherlock watched for a moment as Morland’s expressions ranged from shock to panic and then to sadness. He did not question the accuracy of Sherlock’s assessment.

“Did he say who it was?” Morland asked. 

“He said it was a Mr. Bradford.” Sherlock said. 

Morland was silent again, he appeared to be thinking. Then he spoke.

“Where is he?”

“Graham? He is on the roof.”

Morland strode out of the room and up the stairs to the roof. Graham was still in the same spot, still huddled in the chair. 

“Graham.” Morland said.

“Did Sherlock tell you?” Graham asked muffled through his knees.

“He did.”

“Are you mad at me?”  
Morland knelt down and wrapped Graham into a hug. It was the most affectionate Sherlock had ever seen him. Graham either for that matter, so it surprised him.

“No, I’m not mad at you. I could never be mad at you for this.” Graham squeezed him tightly and started to cry. Sherlock could see that Morland was crying too, if only a little. 

“Come on, let’s go. We’ll go home in the morning.” He said after a moment and pulling away. Graham was silent and allowed himself to be led down the stairs. 

“Thank you Sherlock, I will… I will handle things from here.” He said and then they were gone. Sherlock thought that he would not see them for a while. He was wrong. 

The next morning at Six am Sherlock was awakened by a phone call. He had just gotten to sleep so he was a little out of it. It was his father.

“Hello?”

“Sherlock, I was wondering if you could meet us at the airport in an hour. It seems that Graham would prefer you come with us?” he sounded tired and desperate. 

“Oh, of course, let me gather my things.” He hung up and quickly packed. He left a note for Joan, it did not say everything of course but he would explain later. 

He met them at the airport. They were of course booked on Morland’s private jet. Sherlock boarded the plane and saw his father and Graham. Graham had his headphones in and was engrossed in a game on his tablet. His face was pale and his eyes were red and puffy. Morland looked much the same. He suspected it had been a long sleepless night for all of them. 

Sherlock sat in a seat by himself and within a moment Graham had settled in beside him. He did not talk, he just kept quietly playing the game next to him.

“How are you?” Sherlock asked.

Graham shrugged and did not take his eyes off of the game.

“I expected you to be angry at me.” Sherlock said. He had in truth expected Graham to be angrier about the whole thing.

“No, I knew what would happen if I told. I told Jodi first and she’s been begging me for weeks to tell somebody about it. I just… I had to tell somebody.” He explained.

“Why did you choose me?” Shelock asked. 

“Because the first day I came over I went into your room and saw the sex swing so I figured you wouldn’t judge me.” Graham explained.  
“Ah” Sherlock said. He was more disturbed that Graham knew what a sex swing was.   
“So what are you playing?” he asked changing the subject.

“Minecraft. It’s been my favorite game since I was ten. I’m really good at it.” Graham spent some time telling and showing Sherlock his game. It seemed a simplistic game, not the high quality graphics and violence that Sherlock had come to expect from newer games. Over the course of the flight Graham seemed to relax, he did not sleep though. As the plane began to land Graham grew more tense, he fidgeted, he avoided eye contact. Sherlock knew what must be going through his head. 

Graham only grew more restless as the day wore on. They arrived at the police station that evening, Sherlock’s former London precinct and Graham was pale and shaking. As they walked to the doors Graham stopped.

“I…I don’t think I can do this.” He stuttered. 

“You will do fine, it’s alright. You can do this.” Morland said. 

Graham looked at him and grabbed Sherlock’s hand and gave it a squeeze. Sherlock squeezed back. They continued into the precinct. It took a few minutes, Morland had called ahead to tell them what was going on, they were greeted by a detective that Sherlock did not recognize. She was tall and black with a shaved head. She looked serious but when she talked to Graham her voice got soft and her eyes smiled. She took them all into a room so they could talk. She introduced herself, detective Lindsey Sternum, she made some small talk of pleasantries. Sherlock knew it was to make Graham more comfortable. Then the hard questions began.

“So when did the sexual relationship start?” She asked.

“Umm… September.” Graham muttered.

“Excuse me can you repeat that?” She asked, she was typing.

“September.” Graham repeated. 

“All right, now bring me through what happened.” She said.

“It… umm, does he have to be here?” Graham asked indicating his father. Morland looked a little shocked but he stood up.  
“I could leave?” he suggested.

“You can wait in the other room, there’s coffee. Do you want your brother to leave too?” she asked.

“No, he can stay.” Graham said. 

“Alright, take your time, just start at the beginning.” She said gently.

Over the course of the next hour Graham told a story that turned Sherlock’s stomach. He thought he was numb to such things with all of his experience but it is different when it is happening to someone you care about. Graham stumbled through the story, sometimes stopping to cry. Detective Sternum was gentle and did not push too hard, she let Graham have time before he continued. Sherlock sat there next to him, unsure of what to do, trying to remain supportive and neutral. 

The relationship had started with the school year, small at first, this Mr. Bradford had spent the summer grooming him. Then he began to ask more and more of Graham as Graham grew increasingly uncomfortable. It had ended with Graham being handcuffed to a bed while he was choked into unconsciousness. That was when Graham had had enough and tried to call it off. But his abuser was persistent and had kept harassing him, right up until he tried to commit suicide. He had even sent him a message afterwards, asking if he was okay. Graham had chosen not to respond. 

When it was over and all the questions were asked Detective Sternum had brought Morland back in and gave them her card. She assured them that she would follow up and said they could call her if they had any questions. She told Graham he had done a good job. Graham was still pale but he was no longer shaking. He did not look at her, he did not look at anyone, he was silent as they went to the car.

They drove in silence, Graham sitting in between them. Finally Morland broke the silence.

“Do you want to get something to eat?”

“No.” Graham’s voice was broken he was holding back tears.

“Are you sure? You haven’t eaten…”

“I just want to go home.” He sobbed and placed his face in his hands. Morland hesitated a moment and then placed a hand on Graham’s back, rubbing it gently. He exchanged a glance with Sherlock, he looked helpless. 

They arrived at the estate and Graham immediately went off to his room. Morland led Sherlock into his study and poured himself a drink.

“I would offer you one, but I know you don’t drink.” He said.

“Thank you for remembering.” Sherlock said sarcastically.

Morland sighed and sat down but he did not rise to the bait. Sherlock however decided to push him.

“You know this is your fault right?” he said accusingly. 

Morland glanced up at him and narrowed his eyes and said nothing.

“You abandoned him there, you didn’t talk to him for years and when you did it was condescending. He was so starved for attention he walked right into a predator’s arms!” Sherlock shouted.

“Do you not think I know that? I know this is my fault!” He shouted back and then continued quieter.

“I thought he would be safer. I thought farther away from me would be safer. Considering all the things I have been doing, all the things I’ve done I thought he would be safer if he had less to do with me. Clearly I was wrong.” Morland took a long drink.

Sherlock stumbled for a second. He had not expected his father to agree with him.

“Well what are you going to do now?” He demanded.

“I don’t know. Sherlock I don’t know. I know I wasn’t the best father to you.” Sherlock snorted at that. “But I thought I did fairly well in making sure you were all safe. I thought he was safe.” Morland’s face was drawn and Sherlock could see the formation of tears in his eyes. “Maybe…maybe you should check on him. I’ll be up in a minute, just…give me a minute.” 

Sherlock was quiet for a moment, then disappeared out of the door. He had never seen his father like this before, he was often wrong but he would rarely admit it. Sherlock climbed the stairs to check on Graham. The door was shut and Sherlock knocked. He waited a minute and there was no response. He contemplated for a moment and then fearing the worst opened the door anyway. 

The room was empty, but the window was open. Sherlock poked his head out and spotted Graham laying on the roof a few feet away.

“Hey.” Sherlock said as he began to climb on the roof. “Do you mind if I join you?”

Graham shrugged and Sherlock awkwardly sat down next to him. 

“Are you doing alright?” Sherlock asked.  
“Not really.” Graham responded, his voice was flat.

Sherlock nodded not sure what to say next. 

“I mean, I’m not going to throw myself off the roof if that’s what you’re thinking.” Graham said.

“I was not, but that is good to know. Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” Sherlock asked. 

“Maybe, not really, I don’t know.” Graham answered truthfully.

“I’m going to need a better answer than that.” Sherlock said.

“It’s just that when I tried to kill myself I set it up for at least a month. I researched the best way to do it, I got really prepared and I still didn’t manage to die. I don’t know that I have it in me to try again.” Graham explained. 

“Well at least you are safe.” Sherlock ventured.

“I mean I would have succeeded but I sent Father an email about it and I attached my will. I sent it at three in the morning so I thought he was asleep but I didn’t know he was in China. He must have read it almost immediately because I woke up in the hospital.”

“I told him I didn’t think he loved me. I’m still not sure he does. I just think he doesn’t want me to die.” Graham said. 

“I am not sure he is capable of loving anyone. Not really. Some people aren’t.” Sherlock said. 

“You know when I told Mycroft this kind of stuff he would usually try to reassure me it wasn’t true.” Graham said. 

“I’m sorry, I am not good with platitudes.” Sherlock said.

“No, I like your version better. It makes it feel less personal. I didn’t know if it was because of what happened between him and my mother or if he was racist or what. It feels better if I know he didn’t love you either. I mean no offense, not that I want him not to love you, I just don’t want to be alone.” Graham said. 

There was a small sound by the window and they both turned. Morland stuck his head out.

“What are you two doing on the roof?” He asked.

“Just talking.” Sherlock said, wondering how much of their conversation he had heard. 

“Well come inside before you fall.” He said.  
Graham got up and Sherlock followed as they both climbed into the window. Morland stood there in Graham’s room, looking to Sherlock like a lost pet.

“Graham, I wanted to talk to you.” He said.

“Okay.” Graham said, looking away.

“Sherlock, I need to talk to Graham, if you don’t mind…” Sherlock nodded. He had heard the conversation. Sherlock left and went into his own room. Or what had been his own room, it was a guest bedroom now. An hour later there was a knock on his door. Sherlock opened it, it was Graham looking distressed. 

“I think I really fucked up.” He said entering the room and shutting the door.

“You did not fuck up.” Sherlock said.

“Father is freaking out, he actually cried.” 

“I know he…” Sherlock began.

“He didn’t cry at Mycroft’s funeral.” Graham explained.

“Ah.” Sherlock said, not wanting to bring up the fact that their father did not cry because he knew Mycroft to not be dead. “Well it is a tough situation.”

“I’m freaking out.” Graham said and sat down on the bed. He threw himself back against the mattress. “I wish I was dead.”

“Do you need to go to the hospital?” Sherlock asked seriously.

Graham covered his face with his hands. “No, please don’t I already told you I’m not going to do anything. I just, I just don’t know what to do.”

“You don’t have to do anything right now, the hard part is already over.”

“No, it’s not. What if it goes to trial? I’ll have to do it all over again. What if he goes to jail and really does kill himself in jail?” Graham cried. 

“You are not responsible for him. If he chooses to do so it will be his choice. If it does go to trial you will do it. I will be here for you.” Sherlock said reassuringly. 

“Sherlock.” Graham said, reaching out and grabbing his hand. “I’m really scared.”

Sherlock gave his hand a squeeze. “I know, it is going to be okay though. It really is.”

Graham stayed with him half the night before going off to his own bed and getting what Sherlock hoped was at least a few hours of sleep. The next day Graham seemed a little better, the color was back in his face and he was no longer crying. He had to be forced to eat though, he still insisted he wasn’t hungry. Graham spent most of the day staring at the T.V., no one was going to bother him. Sherlock looked at his glazed expression and wondered if he was even watching, but he decided to just leave him alone. 

On the third day Morland received a phone call. He pulled Sherlock aside.

“That was the detective Sternum. She gave me an update. Apparently they did a search of Mr. Bradford’s room, they found a large amounts of videos and pictures. They have him in custody and he confessed. It looks like Graham might not have to testify.”

“Well that is good news, right?” Sherlock asked. 

“I think so. I was not sure how Graham would be able to handle it otherwise. He does not seem to be doing well.” Morland said. 

“Considering the circumstances I think he is doing alright.” Sherlock said. 

Morland paused and closed his eyes. “Sherlock, I want to thank you for being here for this, I know you and I don’t get along…” 

“I’m not doing this for you.” Sherlock shot back.

“Yes, of course I see that. The point is you didn’t have to get involved and you did. To be honest when we went to America I wasn’t sure you would want to be involved but I am glad you did. I don’t know if we would have found out otherwise.”

“Graham is a good kid, he deserves better.” Sherlock said.

Morland frowned. “Yes, I know. I am trying to do better. I thought I was protecting him by staying away but now I know that is not the case. I am going to try to do better for him.”

“Good.” Sherlock snapped. 

“You do know I love you right? I mean I have not always been the best father and I admit I have made some mistakes, but I do care about you. Everything I have done was because I was trying to protect you.” Morland said.

Sherlock narrowed his eyes. “I am sure you believe that.”

“Sherlock, I don’t know how to prove to you I’m serious.” Morland said.

“It’s not me you have to prove it to.” Sherlock said.

“Yes, yes, of course. I just. I just wanted to be clear. I will inform Graham of what I learned, I am sure he will be relieved.” Morland said.

“Right.” Sherlock said and he left feeling a little uncomfortable.

Morland spoke to Graham, he seemed to take it well. He did not react much, but he did not cry either. He just went back to watching television. Later in the day he approached Sherlock.

“Sherlock, can you take me to the park tomorrow?” He asked.

“Oh um, sure I guess.”

“I want to see Jodi and she’s going to the park tomorrow.” He clarified.

Sherlock was relieved, it was the first thing Graham had been interested in doing in days. 

“That is good, are you feeling better?” Sherlock asked.

Graham shrugged. “I mean I don’t know I guess. I’m just glad I probably won’t have to testify, I was really nervous about that. It’s just… I didn’t want him to get into trouble, I just wanted him to leave me alone.”

“I know Graham, but he did something wrong, he hurt you and he could hurt other people. He deserves to be in prison.”

“Can I tell you something? Can I tell you something and you won’t tell father?” Graham asked. 

Sherlock hesitated. “It depends what it is, if you are going to hurt yourself or someone is hurting you I do have to tell.”

Graham shook his head, “It’s nothing like that. It’s just that. Umm, sometimes I liked it.” Graham turned red and looked away as he said this.

“Graham that is totally normal. That doesn’t mean it was alright. The body will respond to things under stimulation, that doesn’t mean you wanted it or that you were ready for it.” Sherlock explained.

Graham was quiet for a moment. “You won’t tell anyone that right?”

“No, that I can keep a secret.” Sherlock said reassuringly.

Graham breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks, I was just worried about it.”

“Not a problem, you can talk to me about anything. I promise if I am able to I will keep it secret I will.” Sherlock said.

Graham reached over and hugged him tightly. Sherlock very gently patted him on the back. He was getting used to Graham’s hugs and was trying very hard to be reciprocal. 

The next day Sherlock accompanied Graham to the park. They were greeted by a girl a few inches taller than Graham. She was white with long brown hair died with purple streaks. She wore a white t-shirt a skirt and knee high striped stockings. She was wearing make up that looked like it was put on with a shaky hand.

“Graham!” She called and ran over. She and Graham hugged for a moment and Sherlock stood back awkwardly. 

“Is this your dad?” She asked looking at Sherlock.

Graham shook his head. “No, this is my brother Sherlock.” He said. 

“Oh that’s right, I forgot your dad was old. Nice to meet you.” She said.

“Pleasure.” Sherlock said and they shook hands. 

Jodi led them over to a bench and they sat down. “So how have you been I didn’t hear from you for a few days, you went to the police?”

Graham nodded. “Yeah, he’s in jail now. I guess he confessed to everything.”

“Good.” Jodi said, “He deserves it, he’s a pedophile.”

Graham blushed and looked down but did not say anything. Jodi did not seem to notice. 

“So are you back in England for good?” she asked. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Graham said, he sounded dejected. 

“Do you know where you’re going to school yet?” she asked.

Graham shook his head, “We haven’t really talked about it yet.”

“You could come to my school. My school’s great, there’s a GSA and everything.” She said.

Graham shrugged. “I’m probably going to go to another boarding school.”

“That sucks. I hope it’s better than your last one. I wouldn’t be able to survive boarding school I’d miss my mom and sisters too much. Also I hate people.” She said nonchalantly.

Graham snorted. 

“Oh I like you, you’re fine, it’s just that there are a lot of transphobes at school. I wouldn’t want to live with them.” She said matter of factly.

“I thought you liked your school?” Graham asked.

“Oh I do, don’t get me wrong, it’s very supportive. But there are transphobes everywhere. Even my mom, she tries but she still calls me Michael sometimes.” She said.

“That sucks.” Graham said.

“Yeah, it kind of does.” She replied.

Sherlock watched as Graham interacted with his friend. He found himself liking Jodi, she was a proud girl and very forceful. She coaxed Graham out of his shell. For the first time in days Sherlock saw Graham laugh. They walked around the park for a while and Sherlock bought them both ice cream. After a few hours, she announced that she had to leave. She gave Graham a hug and gave Sherlock a wave and she took off. 

“Well she seems very nice.” Sherlock said.

“Yeah.” Graham agreed. “When are you going back to America?” He asked out of the blue.

“Oh, I don’t know, I haven’t decided.” Sherlock said. He had been wondering that himself. He wanted to be there and be supportive for Graham, but he had also been pining for his own life back.

“I liked America, it was cool.” 

“Yeah, it is pretty ‘cool’.” Sherlock admitted.

“You know Mycroft was going to take me there to see you but he died before he could.” Graham said.

“I didn’t realize that.” Sherlock said truthfully

“He warned me about you though. He said you were ‘grumpy’.” Graham made sure to include the air quotes.

Sherlock laughed. “Well it is true I can be quite acerbic.”

“I don’t know, you seem nice to me. You’re like the only one who actually listens to me. Well you and Jodi.” Graham said. 

Sherlock was silent on that one. He had never been complimented on his communication skills before. 

“Jodi was really the one who pushed me to tell somebody what happened.” Graham said.

“Well I am glad she did, she seems very smart.” Sherlock said.

“She keeps calling him a pedophile though.” Graham said concerned.

“Technically he may be an ephebophile, but the principle is the same.” Sherlock explained.

Graham was quiet for a moment. 

“Father is putting me in therapy.” He said.

“Good, I can not recommend it highly enough. I have benefited immensely from the therapy model as have many people I know.” Sherlock said. 

Graham looked surprised. “I didn’t think you would like it.”

“Well at first I was reluctant. But then I came to see it’s benefits. I attend almost daily meetings at home.” Sherlock said.

“I didn’t realize. I mean he said he was going to put me in it anyway because I tried to commit suicide but now he’s looking for a specialist. I mean I’m kind of nervous, I liked the people at the hospital and everything but like, I’m not crazy.” Graham explained. 

“People don’t go to therapy because they’re crazy. People go because they need some help. You’ve been through a lot, it would be helpful to have someone to talk to you about it. A professional that is. There are things even I can’t help you with.” Sherlock said. 

“Do I have to talk about what happened?” Graham asked.

“Well that’s the thing about therapy, you don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want. It would probably be helpful to talk about what happened though.” Sherlock said.

“I don’t know if I want to though. I just want to forget the whole thing ever happened.” Graham said. 

“I know, but, I have some experience with trauma. It doesn’t go away. As much as you might wish it to, you really have to deal with it head on.” Sherlock explained.

“I don’t know that it’s really ‘trauma’ though. I mean father is looking for a trauma specialist. But I don’t know if what happened is really bad enough to be called ‘trauma’. Like I didn’t almost die or anything.” Graham said.

“That’s, that’s just what they call these things.” Sherlock said reassuringly. According to Graham’s story there was a point where he did almost die but he felt it best not to bring that up.

“I guess.” Graham did not sound convinced. 

“Trust me, in time you will figure things out. Things are tough right now but they will get better, I promise.” Sherlock said.

“Yeah, okay.” Graham said. 

Over the next few days Graham’s mood seemed to improve. He spent more time playing games and talking with Jodi online. He made more plans to meet with her. Morland for his part was trying to be around more. He was spending less time at work and more time at home, which surprised Sherlock but he had little hope that the trend would continue for long. Their father always put work first, eventually. Things seemed to be improving and Sherlock was beginning to think he would be able to go home soon when one day he got a text from Graham.

‘He’s dead!’ the text said.

‘Who?’ Sherlock was genuinely baffled.

‘Mr. Bradford. He killed himself. It’s all my fault!’

Sherlock did not bother to respond. He rushed back to the house to find Graham seated in their father’s office sobbing inconsolably while their father sat next to him vainly trying to calm him down. 

“It’s not your fault Graham.” He said putting a hand on his back to comfort him.

Graham put his face in his hands and sobbed. “Yes. It. Is. If I hadn’t told anybody he’d still be alive. I should never have told anybody. I should have kept my mouth shut. He told me this would happen.” 

Morland looked at Sherlock helplessly. Sherlock approached.

“Graham, you did the right thing.” Sherlock said. 

“No I didn’t. Stop saying that.” Graham snapped.

“He made his choice Graham. When someone does this they make a choice it’s no one’s fault but their own.” Sherlock said.

“But you said my suicide attempt was not my fault! You said it was your fault!” He shouted at Morland.

“I…I did but, that was different. I should have listened to you when you told me you wanted to come home.” Morland said. 

“I should have listened to him when he told me not to tell anyone.” Graham sobbed.

“It’s just different…It’s…” Morland stumbled for words.

“What he is trying to say is that you tried to commit suicide because he didn’t listen to your cries for help. Mr. Bradford committed suicide because he was trying to avoid the consequences for his actions. It’s different.” Sherlock said.

Graham did not answer, he simply sobbed. Morland and Sherlock stood by helplessly. 

“Do you need to go to the hospital?” Morland asked.

“No I don’t need to go to the FUCKING hospital!” Graham snapped. “Stop asking that!” 

“Sorry.” Morland muttered. 

“Just LEAVE ME ALONE!” Graham shouted. Morland and Sherlock stood still. “BOTH OF YOU LEAVE!”

They both quickly scrambled out the door, Morland shutting it gently behind him. He did not comment about being kicked out of his own office. He turned to Sherlock, the sounds of sobbing resuming behind him.

“I may have miscalculated.” Morland said.

“What did you do?” Sherlock asked.

“I thought he would be happy when I told him. I didn’t expect… well I didn’t expect this.”

Sherlock sighed and pinched his nose. “You just don’t get it do you. Graham thinks he was in love with him.”

“I just thought.”

“No you didn’t. You don’t listen, you never do.” Sherlock snapped.

“No one talks to me. Graham won’t talk to me, he only talks to you, you’re better at this than I am.” Morland explained.

“He doesn’t talk to you because he doesn’t trust you. You abandoned him for years and when he tried to reach out to you, you rejected him.” Sherlock said.

“What about you? You’ve never even been in his life. You’ve never shown an interest in knowing him before. He has known you for exactly one month and yet he talks to you. He tells you things he won’t tell me.” Morland said.

“I…I don’t know why he does that, but for some reason he does. You should count yourself lucky he does. You would have never found this out if he didn’t.” Sherlock said.

“You misunderstand, I am not angry at you. I am grateful. I… I could not do this without you. I am not good at this.” Morland said.

“At this? No one is really, it’s going to take work.” Sherlock said.

“Do you think he will be alright?” Morland asked.

“Give it time and a lot of therapy and he will probably be okay.” Sherlock said. 

“The hospital had recommended family therapy. At the time I had dismissed it thinking I would not have time for it, but I think it may be a necessity.” Morland said.

“Good, he needs you to be a better father to him than you were to me.” Sherlock said.

“I am trying Sherlock, believe me, I am trying.” 

“Try harder.” Sherlock snapped. 

They stood there in angry silence for a moment. 

“So, did you do it?” Sherlock asked.

“Sherlock I have no idea what you are talking about.” Morland said.

“Did you have Mr. Bradford killed?” Sherlock asked. 

“Do you really think I would do such a thing?” Morland asked.

“Yes.” Sherlock said.

Morland sighed and pinched his nose. “I did think about it, I admit that. But after his confession and everything, I thought I wouldn’t need to. If Graham actually had to testify or if it looked like he wouldn’t go to prison I may have.”   
Sherlock narrowed his eyes. “So you had nothing to do with this?”

“No, Sherlock. I think he really did kill himself.” Morland said.

Sherlock nodded. “I just wanted to be sure.” He said and he walked away.


	2. Graham story part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morland starts to learn to be a better father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to mention this begins in the year 2017 after the fifth season and then replaces canon.

In the end, after days of deliberation, Graham had made a decision that he wanted to go to America to stay close to Sherlock and Joan. Morland suspected that he just wanted to get as far away as possible, but he was not about to argue the point. Going to America was easy, there was an office Morland could use there and they had their own house. He could easily arrange for school and therapy in the States. Although it was imperative to start soon, school would be happening in a few weeks.

Given recent experiences Morland did not want to send Graham off to another boarding school. He no longer felt he could trust them. He had chosen the last one because of their high achievement in academics and stellar extracurriculars. All had guaranteed that Graham would be a shoe in for Oxford, Morland’s own alma-mater. Now he found himself researching schools that provided good emotional support. He found a Montessori School that looked promising. 

He brought Graham along to their open house. When they came in, they were immediately bumped into by a tall girl with strawberry colored hair and loads of freckles. 

“Oh sorry.” She said. “I wasn’t looking.”

“Annabelle!” Came a shout. “Watch where you’re going!” A shorter, chubbier woman with short cropped strawberry hair came into view.

“I said I was sorry!” Annabelle shouted back. 

The woman who was obviously her mother hurried over. “Sorry about that, Annabelle never looks where she is going.” 

“It is quite alright, it was an accident.” Morland said with a smile. He was usually good with women.

“Oh you’re British! That’s neat, did you just move here?” The woman asked.

“Something of the sort. We’re just here for the open house.” Morland explained.

“Is this your grandson?” she asked pointing at Graham.

“My son actually.” Morland corrected.

“Oh sorry. I guess you’re never too old?” She laughed uproariously at her own joke.

Morland smiled, Annabelle’s mother was making him a little uncomfortable, but it seemed that things were going along well between Graham and Annabelle. At least they seemed to be getting along.

“So, I’m Annabelle.” The girl announced.

“Graham, nice to meet you.” He said and extended his hand. She shook it forcefully. 

“Just don’t go falling in love with me, because I’m a lesbian.” She announced.

“Oh, well, not a problem, I’m actually gay.”

“Cool.” She said and Graham smiled. “You know they have a GSA at this school. It’s part of the reason my mom picked it. She wanted me to have support.”

“Oh, I’ve heard of that. They have that in England too.” Graham said.

“Cool, were you in one before?” she asked.

“No, they didn’t have one at my last school. My friend’s has one though.” He said.

“Nice.” Annabelle said and she held up her hand for a fist bump. Graham obliged. 

Morland and Annabelle’s mom whose name turned out to be Marie followed their children down the hallway and into the cafeteria for the beginning of the meeting. Morland was slightly concerned about Graham’s “coming out”. He wondered if he was really gay or if that was just a product of the abuse. He would have preferred if Graham did not advertise it, he feared it would only make him a target. Morland of course did not actually care if Graham was gay, he just wanted him to be safe. Still it was a new world and things were getting more accepting, maybe Graham would be alright. 

The school seemed promising. They had smaller class sizes and focused a lot on talking about students as individuals and setting individual goals. They spoke a lot of jargon that sounded well researched about classroom success and team building. It seemed like a good fit and Graham already seemed to have made a friend. He and Annabelle had already traded snaps. Morland began to relax about the whole thing. 

The start of school was a few days later. One of the first things that Morland noticed was that Graham tried to skip breakfast. Morland grew concerned, Graham had not been eating enough lately and he worried that he may have some kind of eating disorder too. 

“I’m not hungry.” Graham insisted.

“You always say that, but I must insist you at least try to eat something.” Morland insisted.

“I always throw up when I eat in the morning though.” Graham muttered.

“Since when?” Morland asked.

“I don’t know, maybe a year?” Graham said.

“Why didn’t you tell someone?” Morland asked.

“I did, but they said it was just nerves.” Graham said.

Morland frowned. The school had been more negligent than he thought. He was disappointed in how neglectful they were. He was suing them of course, not that the money mattered, but it was the principle of the thing. No one hurt his children and got away with it. 

“Well maybe this time will be different. There was a lot going on last year for you, maybe you should at least try for toast or something.” Morland was still uncomfortable talking openly with Graham about his abuse. 

“Okay.” Graham managed meekly and he made it off to school. 

Morland settled in and tried to catch up on some work. He had worked it out so that he could be doing a lot of work from home and in the US office. He postponed all business trips for the foreseeable future. If the board of directors had a problem with it, he would deal with them. He needed to put his family first. His Other priority would also have to wait. He needed to take Graham to his first therapy session tonight. Something he had put off far too long. 

When Graham returned home Morland was there to greet him. A fact which judging by the expression on his face, confused Graham.

“I didn’t expect you to be here, I thought you were going to be at work.” Graham said.

“I worked from home today. We have your therapy appointment remember?” Morland asked.

“Oh right, I forgot.” Graham said. 

Morland did not believe that for a second. He suspected Graham had hoped he had forgotten. Graham had been reluctant about therapy but this was not something he was being given a choice on. Morland insisted on it.

The therapist had come highly recommended, a published expert in childhood trauma, specializing in sexual abuse. She had written more than a few papers on the subject and had given talks around the country. She had her own private practice in New York and she did not take insurance. Fortunately Morland could more than easily pay her fee. 

They met with the receptionist and waited in the waiting room. At the time of their appointment their therapist emerged. A Miss Aniyah Miller, she looked just like her picture, a short, fat, black woman with long flowing skirt. It must have been an older picture because what had not been pictured had been her lime green shoulder length braids. Morland thought it looked unprofessional but it was her business and she was said to be the best. 

She led them to an office lined with soft, comfortable couches. Graham sat in an armchair in the corner and Morland sat on the couch. Miss Aniyah Miller sat in a chair opposite them.

“So welcome, to my office, you can call me Ani, and you two are… Graham and Morland Holmes?” she said looking at her paperwork.

Graham nodded and Morland said. “That is correct.”

She took out a pad and a pen and began a little speech. “Alright, so I’m going to give you the little speech that I tell everyone that comes in here. Everything you say to me is confidential. So I tell no one. Now this is important because Morland, Graham is going to be my client and I know he’s a minor but unless he reports to me something about abuse or neglect or that he is going to harm himself I don’t tell you. You got that? So Graham what you tell me stays between us and I don’t even tell your dad.”

Graham looked intensely at the ground and nodded. “It was similar at the hospital.”

“Oh okay good you have some experience with therapy before then?” She asked Graham. 

Graham shrugged and Morland answered. “Just a recent hospitalization.” 

“Oh okay, so let me start with what brings you all here?” She pointedly looked at Graham who was silent, so Morland spoke. 

“Well my son tried to commit suicide a few months ago and we just found out that he was sexually abused.” Morland said.

“Oh okay, that’s a lot. How are you holding up?” she asked Morland.

Morland shifted uncomfortably. “Fine. Thank you.”

“I always ask because it’s difficult for a parent to find that information out. It’s difficult for the whole family. Now I have to ask, when did this take place?” She once again asked Graham who was playing with his shoe.

“It was last year, started in September and went until June.” Morland answered.

“So this was recent, okay. Well I am going to stop you right there. I think Graham is a little uncomfortable with you being here, so I am going to ask you to step outside for a bit and I’ll have you come in at the end and we’ll discuss treatment. Is that alright Graham?”

Graham nodded and Morland stood up and left the room. He sat in the waiting room and waited, he tried looking at magazines but he was distracted. He could not help but wonder what was going on in that room. He understood that therapy was going to be a personal process but he was beginning to feel offended that Graham kept pushing him away. 

Finally, after forty-five minutes Ani re-emerged. “Alright Morland, we are ready for you.”

Morland was led back into the room and saw that Graham was sitting up and looking more attentive. He sat back on the couch and waited for Ani to take her seat.

“How did he do?” Morland asked.

“You know a lot of people ask me that question and I am never quite sure how to answer it. Therapy is not something you can fail at. What I can tell you is that I got a lot of information and I can recommend weekly sessions to start.”

Morland nodded. “I suspected as much.”

“I’m not finished. I would also HIGHLY recommend that you two start family therapy. I can recommend someone if you would like.” She said.

“Yes, that was a recommendation.” Morland said slightly miffed at the way people kept pushing it at him. Did they really think he was that bad?

She scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to him. “That is my colleague, she does family therapy in an office down the street. I highly recommend her.”

Morland took it. “Well thank you for your time. I will see you…?” he asked.

“You can schedule out front.” She said. “Tell the receptionist to set you up weekly.” 

Graham and Morland left and began the ride home. Graham sat quietly and played with his phone, much the way he did on the ride there. Morland tried desperately to find out how he was doing.

“How was that?”

“Okay.” Graham said not looking up.

“Can you put down your phone when you talk to me?” Morland asked annoyed.

Graham looked up, his expression was unreadable. He did not look sad or happy. To Morland he just looked tired, tired and empty. 

“How was school?” Morland asked.

“Okay.” Graham looked down again, not looking at his phone just at the floor.

“Was Annabelle there?” he asked.

“Yeah.” Graham answered.

Morland sighed and looked out the window and stopped trying. Graham turned his attention back to his phone. Maybe family therapy would be a good idea. 

They met with the family therapist the following week. She was everything that Ani was not, tall, thin, white and blonde. She greeted them much the same way and their offices were very similar. Graham was quiet for the first session. No not quiet, silent, he barely gave one word responses even when asked directly. Morland was frustrated but the therapist whose name was Barbara told him to be patient. That Graham would talk, he just needed to be encouraged. Morland was having a hard time being patient. He would have perhaps had an easier time if Graham had not so easily attached himself to Sherlock. It seemed that almost every afternoon Graham was going over to Sherlock’s and staying there until Morland sent for him. He did not know why Graham found him so easy to talk to. Morland may have been negligent but Sherlock had been completely absent until recently. Why did he trust Sherlock more? Graham barely spoke to him. He was taking time away from work to be with Graham and Graham was never around. Ultimately he was frustrated but Barbara kept telling him not to give up.

One day, sometime after their third family session. Graham arrived home late from Sherlock’s and Morland was feeling particularly annoyed. 

“Did you do your homework?” He asked.

“Yes, I did it at Sherlock’s” Graham said.

“Did you practice your cello?” Morland asked.

“Yeah.” He answered.

It was an obvious lie and they both knew it. His cello was sitting upstairs in his room untouched.

“Are you sure about that?” Morland asked, giving him opportunity to rethink the lie.

“Fine, I didn’t.” Graham admitted knowing he was caught. 

“Then go upstairs and do it before you go to bed.” 

“No.” Graham said.

“What?” Morland asked. Graham had not refused his requests since he was a small child. 

“I said NO.” Graham repeated. 

Morland took a deep breath, closed his eyes and then spoke. “Graham go upstairs and practice the cello now” He used the most commanding voice he knew. 

“You want me to play the fucking cello?” Graham screamed. “FINE!” He disappeared upstairs and from down stairs Morland could hear a crash and the sound of wood splintering and cello strings twanging. He ran up the stairs to see Graham in his room, what remained of the cello on the ground and Graham stomping what was left with his foot. 

Morland grabbed Graham by the arm and yanked him away. “What are you doing? Are you insane?” He demanded.

Graham yanked back hard. “Don’t FUCKING Touch ME!” he screamed. 

Morland took a breath. This anger had to come from somewhere, it was probably something that Sherlock had said. “That’s it, no more going to see Sherlock, he’s a bad influence on you.”

“FUCK YOU! You can’t stop me!” Graham shouted back. Tears were streaming down his face and he was becoming less coherent by the minute. 

“I can and I will. No Sherlock and you can sit in your room and think about what you’ve done until you are ready to apologize.”

Morland then very quickly had to dodge a book as Graham threw it at his head. Graham began picking up more objects and hurling them at Morland until he quickly left and shut the door behind him. He could hear Graham’s incoherent screams through the door and after a minute incoherent sobs. He was afraid to go in there again. Not even Sherlock had thrown a temper tantrum of this magnitude, well at least not at this age. 

Morland tried to remain firm on his punishment. So for two days Graham came directly home from school and went directly to his room and did not visit Sherlock. For two whole days Graham did not speak to Morland. Morland could put up with it though, one time Sherlock had not spoken to him for two years, although that had been easier to put up with as he had not seen him every day. 

Their car ride to family therapy was done in silence. Morland had also taken Graham’s phone away as assurance that he would not try to contact Sherlock so Graham obstinantly stared out the window. 

When they got to the office Graham practically threw himself into a chair. Morland sat down.

“This isn’t working.” Morland said.

“Oh? What’s going on?” Barbara asked.

“Graham’s getting worse. He is throwing temper tantrums like a child.” Morland said.

Graham sighed angrily and Barbara turned to him.

“Graham, do you want to tell us what’s going on?” she asked.

“Why bother, it’s not like he’s actually going to listen to me.” Graham said. 

“Well, he’s here listening now, why don’t you tell me what happened.” She said calmly.

Graham took a deep breath.

“He started getting on me about playing my stupid cello.” Graham started.

“Graham I asked a simple question.” Morland interjected.

“See! He’s not even listening now!” Graham shouted. 

Barbara put out her hand. “Morland, it is Graham’s turn to talk, we will get to you later. Graham, continue, I assure you we are listening.” 

“He didn’t ask a question. Well he did, then he demanded I play it. I didn’t want to.” Graham said.

“You didn’t have to destroy it.” Morland interjected. 

“I did have to because if I didn’t you would have made me fucking play it. I told you I didn’t want to do it but you made me do it anyway. We never do what I want to do, it’s always about you.” Graham snapped angrily. 

“Graham, we are in America because it is where you wanted to go. Do you think we would be here otherwise? I don’t understand why it’s a big deal that I asked you to play the cello.” Morland said.

“Because I hate the cello!” Graham shouted. 

Morland was a bit taken aback. This was the first he had heard of this. “Since when?”

“I have always hated the cello. I’m not any good at it, I don’t like playing it. The only reason that I did was because my mom was a famous cellist and people thought I would be good at it. I only did it to make her happy and now she’s dead!” Graham shouted.

Graham leaned over in his seat and continued more quietly. “Playing the cello makes me think of her and I don’t want to think about her anymore.” 

“Graham why didn’t you tell me that?” Morland asked. 

“Because you don’t listen to me.” Graham insisted. 

“Graham you keep saying that he doesn’t listen to you. Can you tell me why you think that?” Barbara interjected.

“Because he never did, he didn’t see me for four years. I tried to talk to him at Mycroft’s funeral but he just yelled at me because my tie was crooked. I tried to tell him that I wanted to leave school but he just told me to ‘stick it out’ and yelled at me about my grades.” Graham shouted.

“I…I’m sorry.” Morland said. “I was hard on you because I wanted you to succeed. I thought if I was critical of you, you would do better. I can see now that I was wrong. I should have been more supportive.”

“I miss Mycroft. None of this would have happened if Mycroft was here.” Graham interjected.

“I know, I miss him too.” Morland said.

“I used to pretend he was my father. People always assumed because he was so much older and I just let them.” Graham said.

“I know.” Morland confessed.

“Why would you let me? Didn’t that bother you?” Graham demanded.

“I…I thought I was protecting you. By staying away I thought I was keeping you safe. I was obviously wrong.” Morland tried to explain.

“Protecting me from what?” Graham demanded.

“From me.” Morland stated. “Graham, I am not a good person. I try to be but I am not. I have done some…things that could put you in danger. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“What are you even talking about? What is going on in this family? First Mycroft and now you?” Graham shouted.

“You know about Mycroft?” Morland asked suddenly concerned.

“I mean sort of. Sherlock wouldn’t tell me what was going on but he told me enough.” Graham said.

“He shouldn’t have told you that.” Morland said.

“Well I already figured most of it out anyway. He didn’t tell me much. He more just confirmed things. He told me Mycroft’s death wasn’t an accident and said that the people who did it were in jail or dead but he didn’t tell me any more. That was all I needed to know really.” Graham said.

Morland relaxed. He didn’t know Mycroft was alive. Although it hurt Graham to think he was dead, it could hurt Mycroft if Graham knew. 

“I want to see Sherlock again.” Graham said.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” Morland said.

“Why? Why do you hate him so much you won’t let me see him?” Graham screamed.

“I don’t hate him, I just think he’s a bad influence on you. He told you I didn’t love you.” Morland said.

“He didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know!” Graham shouted.

“Graham, I don’t know how many times I have to say it I do love you.” Morland insisted.

“You’ve never said it before! You only say it now because you feel bad, because you’re afraid I’ll kill myself if you don’t!” Graham shouted.

“Graham that’s not…” Morland began. Graham stood up.

“I have to go, I can’t do this right now.” Graham left and slammed the door behind him. Morland stood to go after him but Barbara stopped him.

“Let him cool down for a minute. I want to talk to you anyway.”

Morland returned to his seat.

“I think that went very well.” She said.

“You think that went well?” He asked incredulously.

“Yes. You were having a problem with Graham not talking to you and now he is talking to you.” She explained.

“He is yelling at me, he hates me!” Morland stated.

“He is angry at you and from what the both of you describe he has every right to be. Graham didn’t talk to you because he felt rejected by you, he didn’t trust you. Him showing you his anger is him starting to trust you. He is starting to trust that you can take his anger. He is trying to push you away to see if you will go. Just keep doing what you are doing, be reassuring, be positive, stay present and eventually you will be able to move past it into something more positive.” She said.

Morland sat and thought for a moment in silence.

“So there is hope?” he asked.

“Yeah, there’s hope, as long as you keep doing what you are doing. Don’t fall back onto old habits. I would say you two are making good progress.” She said.

Morland nodded hopefully.

“Also I think that Sherlock should come to our next session.” She said.

“You really think so?” he asked.

“Now I am not here to fix your relationship with Sherlock. Although it sounds as if that needs work. I am here to fix your relationship with Graham. But it sounds like the two of you really care about him and you are probably not wrong about him undermining you. I would like to get both of you on the same page, caring about Graham.” She explained.

“I can ask if he will come.” Morland said unsure.

“Good, because he sounds like a good support for Graham, I am glad he is in his life. Graham needs all the support he can get.” She said.

“Right.” Morland said sheepishly.

“Alright, now I would say it’s time for you to go get him. I will see you next week. Good session today.” She said.

Morland left, he found Graham standing in the waiting room pacing the room. Graham silently followed him to the car. In the car Morland found the power to speak. He reached into his pocket and pulled out Graham’s phone.

“Here you go, you can contact Sherlock if you want to.” 

“Thanks.” Graham said, “But I have to tell Jodi I got my phone back. She might think I’m dead by now.” 

Graham began furiously messaging away. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you about the cello. I didn’t know you felt that way.” Morland said.

“I didn’t think you cared because you hated her so much.” Graham said. 

“I don’t, I didn’t hate your mother. At one time I loved her. But I hated what she did to you. I hated what the drugs did to her.” Morland explained.

“You didn’t even come to her funeral!” Graham shouted.

“I didn’t think it would be appropriate for me to be there, considering what happened between us.” Morland said.

“I had to go there alone! It was filled with people I’ve never even met and I had to do it alone!” Graham shouted.

“I…I’m sorry. I didn’t think…I didn’t think. That was it. I shouldn’t have let you do that alone.” Morland said.

Graham snorted which Morland took as agreement. 

“Can I go to Sherlock’s?” he finally asked. 

Morland hesitated and then remembered what Barbara had said. “Of course, I can drop you off.”

“Thanks.”

“Can you ask him if he will come with us next week?” Morland asked.

“Come where?” Graham asked.

“To therapy with us.”

Graham looked at him quizzically. “I guess. I can ask him.”

“That’s all I ask.” 

“Okay.”

“For what it’s worth I am sorry I pressured you about the cello, I didn’t know you felt that way.” Morland said.

“That’s alright, I’m sorry I broke it. It’s just I know you don’t like talking about my mom so it was hard to tell you. I didn’t think you would understand.” Graham said.

“No, I understand. I will tell you what, anytime you need to talk about her, we can talk about her.” Morland said.

“Okay.” Graham said and then he was lost in his phone. Morland watched him for a few minutes and then he was dropped off at Sherlock’s with a return time of eight o’clock. 

The rest of the week went smoothly. They did not fight, but then again, they barely talked. He returned to seeing Sherlock daily. Morland would ask about what they were doing and get some of the strangest answers. It seemed that Sherlock was teaching Graham a form of martial arts which in general Morland approved of. He also seemed to be imparting some of his detective skills. Morland just hoped that it was age appropriate.  
Sherlock did agree to be part of the next family session and when the two of them arrived the next time he was already there. 

Graham greeted him with a hug which Sherlock stiffly accepted. Sherlock always looked stiff and uncomfortable, and he had always hated physical contact although he never complained about Graham. Morland had to admit he was a little jealous with the ease in which Graham expressed physical affection with Sherlock. He had been like that with Mycroft too. It had been a long time since Graham had initiated a hug with Morland and he was beginning to regret being distant. 

Barbara was enthusiastic in greeting Sherlock. They went into the therapy room, Graham slumped in his usual chair. Morland took the couch and Sherlock took a chair on the other side of the room. 

“It’s always interesting to see how people arrange themselves when they come into my room. You three are sitting so far apart. I wonder why that is?” 

They all looked at one another. Graham shrugged. “I don’t know I just like this chair.” 

“Alright, well first I would like to thank Sherlock for coming, we really appreciate it.” She said.

Sherlock nodded nervously. He fidgeted with something in his hands.

“So I guess to start we’ll start off with how the week went. Graham?” Graham fidgeted with his shoe.

“It went okay I guess. I’m allowed to go over Sherlock’s again, so I guess that’s cool.” Graham said.

Barbara nodded. “Morland how did it go?” 

“Well we didn’t have any more fights.” Morland said.

“Alright, good, now I wanted to address Sherlock. Sherlock where do you think you fit in this family dynamic?” she asked.

“Well I am his older brother. Graham chooses to spend time with me, that’s his choice. I don’t make him come over.” Sherlock said.

Barbara nodded. “Now I think Morland was concerned about the kinds of things you’ve been telling Graham about him.”

“I haven’t told him anything about him.” Sherlock said.

“You told him I didn’t love him.” Morland interjected.

“I didn’t say that, he said that, I just didn’t deny it. You have yet to prove you do.” Sherlock said.

“How can you think that? What do you think all this is about?” Morland asked.

“Graham can you leave the room for a second?” Barbara asked. Graham rolled his eyes and exited the room. Barbara turned to face the two of them.

“Alright now I know there is history between you two and we are not here to solve that. We are both here for Graham. You both care about him right?” she asked.

Morland and Sherlock nodded. 

“Great, now you both need to get on the same page. Sherlock you need to stop undermining your father and by that I mean you can’t badmouth him to Graham.” She said.

“I haven’t really bad mouthed him…” Sherlock retorted but he was met with a look by Barbara that made him think twice. “But I can consider it.” 

“Morland, you need to not be jealous of Graham’s relationship with Sherlock. Graham has a special relationship with his brother that needs to be encouraged. You will develop your own relationship with him that will be different. You just need to give it time.” She said.

“I wouldn’t really call it jealousy.” He retorted, he was met with the same look, “But I will keep that in mind.” 

“Great, can I bring Graham back in?” She asked. They both nodded and she left the room. While she was gone Morland and Sherlock looked at each other, it was not a nice look.

Graham came back in and slumped back in the chair. 

“Alright Graham, so what was it like for you watching your father and brother fight?” she asked.

Graham shrugged. “I don’t know, they’re always like that. They’ve been fighting for as long as I’ve been alive, longer even. They didn’t talk to each other for like ten years or something.”

“That must be hard for you.” She said.

“I guess, I mean it sucked that Sherlock wasn’t around until now. But that’s fine. I just wish they didn’t try to make me choose between them.” Graham said.

“How do you mean?” she asked.

“Well whenever I’m with Sherlock and I talk about father he always wants me to say something bad about him. Then when I was bad at home Father blamed it on Sherlock instead of me. I broke my cello, he didn’t tell me to.” Graham said.

“I never intended to make you feel that way.” Sherlock said.

“It’s just I know you don’t like him and I feel like you don’t want me to like him either. But I don’t know how I feel right now okay?” Graham asked. 

“That’s fine Graham. I’ll stop if you want me to.” Sherlock said.

“Thanks.”

“I will also try to be more mindful of your relationship with Sherlock.” Morland promised.

The rest of the session went well. Graham was a lot more open and more talkative. He even seemed almost happy by the end of it. When the session ended they went their separate ways. On their way home in the car Graham started talking again.

“Sherlock told me about his mom.” He said.

“Oh, he did?” Morland asked.

“Yeah, I just wanted you to know I don’t think you were wrong for what you did. Sherlock might still be mad at you but I think you did the right thing. It’s not your fault that she died.” Graham said.

“Oh.” Morland said.

“I didn’t tell Sherlock that, I think he would be mad at me for saying it. It’s just, well he doesn’t know what it’s like having a mom who’s addicted to drugs and always choosing drugs over you. I wouldn’t tell him but he’s lucky that he gets to remember her with happy memories. I don’t have happy memories of my mom.” Graham said.

Morland put a comforting hand on Graham’s shoulder. 

“I don’t miss her, not really, I miss who I wish she was. I miss the hope I had that she would one day get better.” Graham said.

“I’m sorry.” Morland said.

“Can I ask you a question? And you have to tell me the truth okay?” Graham asked.

“Of course.” Morland said.

“Did you love my mother or was it just a sex thing?” Graham asked. 

Morland hesitated a minute, more thrown off by Graham’s language than anything else. 

“You have to tell the truth, you promised.” Graham insisted.

“Well, in truth it was neither. We had only just started dating when she became pregnant. To be honest I was not sure you were mine at first since it had only been a few weeks, but the tests were positive. We tried to have a relationship, we tried to make it work, but her drug use became a problem and to be honest I was not willing to go through it again. I paid for rehab for her through her pregnancy, but once you were born I made it clear she was on her own.” Morland said.

Graham absorbed this information. “Okay, that makes sense.” He said. “Thank you for telling me.” 

“Anytime, feel free to ask me anything.”

“Why didn’t you see me for four years?” Graham asked.

“I was trying to protect you.” Morland said.

“You said that already, but protect me from what? Barbara’s not here you can trust me to keep a secret.” Graham said.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that telling you would put you in more danger than you already are.” Morland said.

Graham closed his eyes. “Is it really that bad?”

“I am afraid so.” Morland said.

“Can’t you just stop?” Graham asked.

“I am trying to, but it’s not that simple, it’s complicated.” He said.

“Will you tell me when I’m older?” Graham asked.

“We’ll see.” Morland said.

“Only Sherlock told me he would tell me about Mycroft when I was older.” Graham said.

“Like I said, we’ll see.” Morland said.

“I wish our family didn’t have so many secrets.” Graham said.

“Me too, me too.” He said and he wrapped Graham in a hug. Graham gripped him tightly in return. 

In the weeks that followed their relationship continued to improve. After a few weeks Sherlock took a case so Graham was no allowed over there for the time. Instead he would come home and lock himself in his room. On the third day of this Morland knocked on his door. There was no response. Morland opened the door and saw Graham laying in bed, face down in a pillow with his headphones on. 

“Graham?” Morland asked rather loudly.

Graham looked up quickly, and wiped his eyes, they were red and it looked like he had been crying.

“Are you alright?” Morland asked.

“Yeah I’m fine.” He replied.

“Would you like to go for a walk?” Morland asked.

“Okay.” Graham said, his voice was a little shaky.

Morland took Graham to the park. They walked in silence for a while and then came to a bench along a pond. Graham sat down and Morland followed suit. They both just looked out at the water.

“I don’t like my biology teacher.” Graham said at last.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, she asked me where I’m from. I told her London and she said ‘no before that.’” And I didn’t know how to answer.” Graham said.

“Oh.”

“Then she lectured me about ‘staying true to my cultural heritage, whatever that means.” Graham said.

“Do you want me to talk to her?” Morland asked.

“Nah, people are like that sometimes. I used to deal with that at my other school all the time. I mean at least she was trying to be nice about it. But I’ve heard people say awful things about refugees. My mom is a refugee, I know if she didn’t come over then she would have died.” Graham said.

“I’m sorry Graham, I didn’t realize.” Morland said.

“It’s okay, it’s just hard. People just suck.” Graham picked up a rock and chucked it into the water. Ducks gathered around it excited at the prospect of food. 

“I’m sorry.” Morland said.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” Graham said. He sat quietly for a moment and bit his lip. “I know you’re trying, but it’s hard, I don’t know how long you’re going to be around for.”

“As long as you need me.” Morland said.

“Yeah, I mean you say that but something will come up, something always does and you’ll have to go away again you always do.” Graham said.

“Not this time. I promise.” Morland said.

Graham examined him with a critical eye, “We’ll see.” Graham threw another rock. 

“Yes.” Morland said and put an arm around him. Graham did not inch closer but he did not pull away. They just sat in silence while Graham occasionally threw rocks until it was time to go home.

Morland was discouraged, he was trying so hard but getting Graham to trust him was hard. He consulted Barbara but she said it would take time. Still it hurt to realize he was not trusted. He had never considered that he was doing something wrong, he had raised all of his children like this, but look how that had turned out. Mycroft was off in Greece pretending to be dead, Sherlock, well he and Sherlock were not on the best of terms and Graham barely trusted him. Maybe he had done something wrong. He just hoped it was not too late to change.


	3. Christmas Episode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and Joan spend their Christmas with Morland and Graham.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short Chapter about Christmas.

Joan was sitting down drinking coffee in the kitchen after a hard day of running around when she heard the door open downstairs.

“Hey Joan, where’s Sherlock?” He asked as he climbed the stairs.

“Oh he’s at his meeting, he should be back soon.” She answered. 

Graham grabbed himself a cup of coffee and settled down into the seat across from her. He held the cup in both hands and took a drink.

“How was your day?” She asked.

“Eh, okay, my therapist was talking about Christmas.” He shrugged.

“You’re not excited about it?” She asked.

“No, I don’t really like Christmas.” He said.

“Oh I see.” She said, she was sure he would elaborate.

“Yeah, it was cool when Mycroft was alive because I would spend them with him. But the last four years I was stuck at school, it was just me and all the foreign students. It kind of sucked.” He continued.

“I can imagine.” She said.

“Father wants to have Sherlock over for dinner. I don’t know if he’ll come though. I know they don’t really get along. You’re invited too of course, but you probably want to be with your own family.” Graham said apprehensively. 

“Not this year, my parents are on my dad’s book tour.” Joan said. 

“Your dad wrote a book?” Graham asked.

“Several actually.” She said with a grimace. She did not care for her father’s books.

“Oh, cool.” Graham began typing furiously on his phone. “I’ll read it.”

“Oh, well it’s really more of an adult book series.” She explained.

“I have had a college reading level since the seventh form, I’m sure I can handle it.” Graham retorted.

“No, I meant that it is actually adult…themed.” She continued carefully.

“Oh you mean like there’s sex in it? I’m pretty sure I can handle that. They made me read 1984 in school and there’s sex in that.” Graham said. 

“I just…I would just prefer you don’t read it, okay?” she asked.

Graham looked at her confused. “A…Alright, sure.” He said and looked back at his phone.

“Oh hey,” he said, “I didn’t know your dad was white too.” He said holding the picture of her father he had found on his phone. 

“Oh yes, where did you think the name Watson came from?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I guess I didn’t think about it. But that’s cool, hey can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.” She said.

“Do people ask you weird questions about where you’re from?” he asked.

She smiled. “Sometimes.”

“I don’t know how to answer them. I mean, I am not from here so not everyone asking the question is racist, but some people don’t like the answer of London. They ask me about ‘before’ that and I don’t know how to answer.” Graham said.

“I don’t think there is a good answer, I just tell them I was born here.” She said.

“My therapist thinks I should say ‘my mother’s uterus’, apparently it’s from a show.” He said.

Joan laughed, “Well that is a good one.”

Graham smiled. “Also people call me Asian here, I got the other stuff before, but no one called me Asian before. It seems kind of vague, like Asia is a whole continent and there’s Russia in it.”

Joan thought for a second. “Yeah, it is kind of weird. I never really thought about it before.” 

“Someone tried calling me ‘Asian American’ and I had to explain that I’m not American.” He said.

Joan laughed. “People can be dumb sometimes.”

“I think my father forgets I’m not white sometimes. I mean it’s nice that he is treating me fairly, but it’s also annoying. Like I don’t know how to describe it.” He said. 

“I think I know what you mean. My dad was the same way. He doesn’t think about how different your experiences would be from being a person of color. He tries though.” She said.

“Exactly, like he didn’t think about how people at my school would be racist. Or how people debating refugees really gets to me personally since I know my mom was a refugee.” He said. 

“White people can be dumb sometimes. Even Sherlock is dumb sometimes.” She said conspiratorily.

“Yeah, I noticed that. It’s cool to have other people to talk to about it though. I am just surrounded by a lot of white people. Most of the kids at my school are white too. I mean Annabelle is cool and all but there are certain things that she just doesn’t get.” He said. 

“Well I am here if you need me.” She said. 

“Thanks.” Graham said. A few moments later Sherlock came in and Graham and Sherlock occupied themselves for the afternoon, leaving Joan in peace. Graham left around eight’ o’ clock that night and Sherlock came to Joan.

“I don’t know what you are doing for Christmas this year. But you are invited to my Father’s house for dinner this year.” He said. 

“My father’s on a book tour which means they are out of town this Christmas and they are visiting relatives in Indiana. I don’t know what my brother’s doing but he hasn’t contacted me yet, so I am free this Christmas. Your brother already invited me.” She said. 

“Ah, good.” Sherlock fidgeted with his sleeves. “We haven’t had a family Christmas in decades. I’m not really a fan of it to be honest. Seems like a lot of to do over nothing. It’s a superficial holiday based on capitalism and greed.”

“Well I am glad we’re going, I think Graham could use us there. I think it’s hard for him being alone with your father, he’s not the most sensitive man.” She said. 

“No. He does seem to be trying though. More than he ever did for Mycroft or me. I half expected him to run off to England or China again by now.” Sherlock said. 

“Well maybe he is getting better in his old age.” Joan suggested. 

“Your theory is that he’s worried about his own mortality and trying to make amends before he passes? He doesn’t seem like the type. Still I have been wrong before.” Sherlock said. 

“I think the situation is…unique.” Joan said carefully. 

“Yes, I would say so.” Sherlock said. “So I should tell him you are coming?” Sherlock asked.

“Yeah, tell him I am coming.” She said. 

Sherlock nodded and disappeared into his room. Presumably to tell his father about Joan.

On Christmas day they arrived at Morland’s estate just outside of New York City at 4:00 in the afternoon. Joan drove, as she always did, since Sherlock saw no need to own a car. They came bearing a few small gifts that Joan wrapped. Sherlock saw no need for presents, but Joan thought it would be proper. Morland answered the door. It was the first time she had seen him in something other than a suit. He wore a sweater and tan pants. 

“Welcome. I am glad you both could make it, come on in.”

He took the gifts and led them both inside. He led them to the living room where a large tree was set up. There were several couches in the center of the room and Graham was sprawled across one of them, his tablet in his hand and his headphones on. When they approached he smiled and took his headphones off. His face lit up when he saw them and he gave both of them a hug.

“You guys made it, I wasn’t sure if you would come.” He said. 

“Of course, we said we would.” Joan said putting her gifts down on the table. 

“I got you guys gifts, hold on.” Graham went over to the rather large tree and crawled underneath it. He produced two packages hastily wrapped in green paper. He handed a long thin one to Sherlock and a short squat one to Joan. 

“We have gifts too.” Joan said. She handed Graham two of the packages. 

He hastily sat down to open it. Graham lit up when he looked inside, it was a telescoping baton similar to the one Sherlock had. Graham gave it an experimental wave. 

“This way you have your own when we practice.” Sherlock said.

Joan had not known about the baton. She looked over at Morland, who was frowning but he did not say anything. She doubted he approved. “Just don’t bring it to school.” Morland said finally. “I don’t want to get calls saying that you brought in a weapon.”

“Oh, I won’t I’ll probably leave it at Sherlock’s.” Graham said putting it away. “Thanks though, that was really cool. You guys have to open your presents though.” 

Joan tore away the paper and revealed a rather nice gold necklace. It was a little expensive for her tastes but she knew Graham had tried so she put it on and showed it off. Graham smiled at this. Sherlock carefully opened his package and stared at it blankly. It was a drawing in a little frame. 

“I didn’t know what to get you because it’s not like I can really buy anything for you so I made you something. It’s a drawing of a picture I found of you and Mycroft when you were little with your mum. I thought you would like it.” He said sheepishly.

“Oh, Uh, I do.” Sherlock stuttered. Joan could tell he was caught a little off guard. Sherlock did not talk about his mother much, she knew that it was a sore subject for him. He and his father had had several fights about it in fact. 

Sherlock gave Graham a tense smile and set the picture aside. Graham seemed to accept this and they sat down. 

“Sherlock can I speak with you?” Morland asked.

“Yes.” Sherlock said a little testily, being reminded of his mother had brought up feelings of anger.

“Privately.” Morland said. 

Sherlock nodded and he followed Morland into his study, leaving Joan and Graham together. She tried to make small talk.

“So are you having a good Christmas?” She asked.

Graham shrugged. “Yeah, it’s way better than last year, my mum died two weeks before Christmas last year.”

“Yeah that would make it tough.” She said empathetically.

“I am still mad at Father for not coming to the funeral. I mean I know he has apologized for it, but that doesn’t change the fact that I am still angry at him.” He said. 

“That’s perfectly understandable.” Joan said. 

“Yeah, my therapist told me to say, ‘thanks for your apology’, when he apologizes for stuff like that instead of ‘it’s okay’. Because it was not okay and she said I’m still allowed to be mad.” He said. 

“You are still allowed to be mad. Your Father, well your father is not great with showing that he cares.” Joan said. 

“Yeah, I know, I can tell he’s trying though. Which is new for me.” Graham admitted.

“He doesn’t show it very well but your father loves you, I think he just wants you to be happy.” She said. 

“I know it’s just hard to tell him that I’m not happy, I don’t know if I’ve ever been happy. I mean I haven’t been since Mycroft died but even before that most of my memories are of me crying.” Graham said. 

“I’m sorry,” Joan said, “I am sure some day you will be happy.”

“I don’t think it works like that. I think some people just aren’t meant to be happy. Everyone says that I just have to wait for it but I have been waiting my whole life and it’s just gotten worse.” He said. 

“Well you have had a lot of awful things happen to you.” Joan said. 

“Yeah, it’s been a really rough year. I told my therapist this and she said I might not find happiness that maybe the best I can hope for is finding peace and I think I might be okay with that. I just want everything to stop being so messed up.” Graham said. 

Joan was quiet for a moment. “You sound like Sherlock.” She said at last.

“Yeah?” Graham asked.

She nodded. “I think Sherlock has trouble feeling happy too. He has mentioned feeling overwhelmed all of the time. I think his passion for solving crime is to keep him feeling at peace.”

Graham thought about this for a second. “I think Father is the same way too. I think that maybe Mycroft was the only one in the family actually happy. At least he seemed happy.”

“Mycroft had his own demons.” Joan said thinking back to her time with Mycroft. 

“Yeah? Well you would know better than me. I was only nine when he died. Do you ever think about how if he was still alive you two may have been married by now?” Graham asked. 

“I try not to think about things like that.” She said. 

“Yeah, sorry.” He said. 

“You don’t have to apologize, I know you miss him.” She said. 

“I do. I felt like he was the only one who actually cared about me. When he was gone I didn’t really have anybody left.” Graham said. 

“Well you have us now.” Joan said firmly.

“Yeah, I know. I’m just… I don’t know, having trouble believing it.” He confessed.

“Give it time, it will feel more real I promise.” She said. 

Sherlock and Morland then re-emerged from the study. Both looking serious. She glanced at Sherlock and exchanged a look, both of them would catch up on the way home. Dinner started at six. Graham spent the dinner talking to Sherlock about a podcast he listened to about murder. Sherlock shared some opinions about the inconsistencies in the murder descriptions. Sherlock looked uncomfortable for most of it, she knew the holidays were hard for him, he usually preferred to ignore them. She could never get him to come to her family’s house for the holidays so it was strange being here with his. 

Dinner was over soon and so was dessert and then soon it was time to go home. Graham hugged them both tightly before they left. He was certainly more affectionate than Sherlock. Joan drove them home. 

“Well that was interesting.” Joan said.

“Yes, it seems Father is trying to play ‘happy families’” Sherlock retorted. 

“I think he’s doing it for your brother.” Joan said.

“So it would seem.” Sherlock said. 

There was a pause in conversation.

“What did your father want to talk to you about?” Joan asked.

“He wanted to tell me that he is giving up the crime organization. He can’t run it, his company and be there for Graham at the same time, so he is giving it up.” He said. 

“Wasn’t he trying to dismantle it?” she asked.

“He was, he was also trying to keep them away from me. He gave it to someone he trusted but he is not sure how long they will keep it. So he told me as a warning. That next time I will not have protection.” He said seriously.

“Oh, huh, he really is trying at this isn’t he?” she commented.

“So it would seem.” Sherlock said.


	4. Graham story Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More therapy and relationship troubles with Morland and Graham.

It was the second week of February and it was parent, teacher conferences. Morland had not made a habit of going to them at any of his children’s previous schools. He had preferred to communicate with Graham’s teachers via e-mail and phone if needed. But recent events made him see that perhaps it was best to actually meet Graham’s teachers in person. The school Graham went to highly encouraged parent and student participation so Graham was coming along as well. He was not particularly happy about it, but he kept his grumbling to a minimum once they arrived. 

They met with his math teacher first. Math was a good subject for Graham, he excelled at it. He grasped concepts quickly and was able to apply them broadly. Despite this he had only managed a C in the course the past two semesters. The reason it was discovered was because he just was not doing his homework. He did well on tests and in class work and on quizzes but he had completed only a dozen homework assignments all year. 

The same was true in other subjects, science and history. He just was not doing homework. Morland was beginning to get frustrated. He was trying to feel sympathy for everything Graham had gone through but this was just laziness. He was being told the same thing he had been told for years, Graham was brilliant but lazy. He was set to ground the boy until he talked to the English teacher.

Morland had been nervous about meeting Graham’s English teacher. It was his English teacher the previous year who had abused him. As a result Morland was not sure how Graham felt about the subject or what his capabilities were. His teacher this year was a young woman, barely twenty-five. 

“Oh you’re Graham’s father, pleased to meet you, I am Miss Wood.”

“A pleasure,” Morland said taking her hand and shaking it before he sat down. Graham slumped in the seat next to him.

“Graham usually does well in my class, although I have to ask, is English a second language to him?”

“No, why?” Morland asked confused.

“Well because the mistakes he makes, the grammatical ones, putting words in the wrong order, that sort of thing, that is something that people who are English language learners make.” She said. 

“Well he knows three languages growing up, perhaps he is getting them confused.” Morland said. 

“Four.” Graham interrupted. 

“Excuse me?” Morland asked.

“I learned Japanese a few years ago, I know four languages.” He corrected.

*”Why did you learn Japanese”* Morland asked in perfect Japanese.

Graham blushed. *”I wanted to watch anime without subtitles.”* he responded slowly but perfectly.

“I mean, I’m not very good at reading it but I can speak it.” Graham said in English. 

“Oh wow, that is impressive.” Miss Wood said. 

Morland nodded, “That is.” He agreed, “But I was more interested in how he was doing in English.”

“Oh, well he does alright. He struggles with grammar and some of the reading comprehension topics. Although I suspect that is because he hasn’t been doing the reading at home. He has a lot of great ideas though, he is just sloppy at putting them together.” She said. 

Morland nodded and continued. On the way home in the car, Graham was quiet. Morland suspected he believed that he was in trouble but Morland was more curious than angry.

“So do you have any other talents besides knowing Japanese that I don’t know about?” Morland asked. 

“What?” Graham asked. 

“Did you learn anything else that I don’t know about?” Morland asked.

“Oh well I guess I taught myself digital drawing.” Graham said.

“Anything else?” Morland pressed.

“I also learned computer programming.” Graham said. 

“You did all this while you were supposed to be doing your homework?” Morland questioned.

Graham squirmed in his seat. 

“Homework just seemed so pointless. I am passing everything right? This stuff is just more interesting.” Graham pleaded. 

“I know but doing homework is important, it reaffirms your knowledge of the subject, it teaches discipline.” Morland said. 

“You know in Sweden they don’t have homework. They say that it takes away from home learning and they do all their work in school.” Graham said. 

“Yes, but we aren’t in Sweden and in America they have homework, so I expect you to do your homework.” Morland said. 

“I guess.” Graham said. “I just feel like it’s a waste of time.”

“I know but I just want you to do your best. Look I am not angry at you.” Morland said. 

“You’re not?” Graham asked.

“No, I’m more impressed that you took the initiative to learn so many things on your own. I had thought you simply lazy and playing video games. I didn’t know you were otherwise motivated.” Morland explained.

Graham simply shrugged. “All that stuff was just more interesting.”

“I know, and I don’t want you to give it up, I just want you to focus more. Tell you what, you come straight home from school from now on and do your homework, I’ll check it and you can still go to Sherlock’s afterwards.” Morland said gently.

“Can’t I just do it at Sherlock’s?” Graham asked. 

“That was what you were supposed to be doing and what you have been lying about doing for the past five months.” Morland said sternly. 

“Fine.” Grumbled Graham annoyed. 

Morland placed his hand on Graham’s head and ruffled his hair lightly. “It won’t be so bad, I promise, like I said, I’m not mad. I’m actually proud of you for taking such initiative.” 

“Oh, thanks.” Graham blushed slightly red. 

“I mean it. Look I am being lenient, I know it’s been a hard year for you but I can only be lenient so far. After your vacation next week I expect you to be home everyday doing your homework. For me. It would give me peace of mind.” Morland said. 

“Okay.” Graham agreed. “And I’m not in trouble?”

“You are not in trouble.” Morland said and he held out his hand. Graham took it and they shook. Graham agreed to the terms. 

“You know I love you right?” Morland asked.

“Yeah, I love you too.” Graham replied. Morland’s heart swelled. It was the first time that Graham had told him he loved him too. Usually his response was ‘Yeah Okay’, a generic non-committal answer. Finally Morland felt like he was getting somewhere.  
The arrangement worked for a while, Graham came home each day and did his homework in it’s entirety before heading off the Sherlock’s. His grades rapidly improved. He went from getting C’s to A’s and all of the teachers commented that they were proud of his progress. It went on for several months and Morland was beginning to feel that he would not need to check on Graham much longer when Graham suddenly stopped doing his English assignments.

At first Graham reported that he had no English homework, or that he had done it at school. Fortunately for Morland, the school had an online database for each class detailing each assignment and when it was due. Morland knew that Graham was supposed to be reading ‘The Color Purple’. Then Graham claimed that he ‘forgot’ the book at school. When Morland downloaded a digital copy onto his kindle Graham dropped all pretense and just outright refused to do it.

Morland had no idea where this was coming from. Graham usually loved to read, given school books were usually not his books of choice but Graham had never fought so hard before. When Morland asked why Graham just kept repeating that ‘the book was stupid’. Morland lectured about responsibility and Graham just rolled his eyes. They ended up in a heated argument where Graham was screaming at him that he was not going to do it. It spilled over into their weekly therapy session.

“I don’t know what’s going on, he just absolutely refuses to do it. He doesn’t respect my authority.” Morland compained.

“It’s not about you, it’s about the book. It’s dumb and I’m not reading it.” Graham snapped back.

“It’s about responsibility. You have a responsibility.” Morland said. 

“No, I don’t, it’s just a book.” Graham retorted.

“If it’s just a book why won’t you just read it?” Morland asked exasperated.

“Stop, hold on,” Barbara said, “What book are we talking about?”

“The Color Purple.” Morland answered.

Barbara grimaced. “Oh, that book, Morland, have you read that book?”

“No, it’s an American book, it was not something I was familiar with.” Morland admitted.

“Well the main theme in that book is rape. It happens in the very first chapter.” Barbara explained.

Morland went quiet and the color in his face drained. He glanced at Graham who had turned a shade of crimson and was now staring at his shoes.

“Graham is that why you didn’t want to read it?” Morland asked.

“Well… yeah.” Graham admitted.

“Well why didn’t you tell me? I would have done something about it.” Morland asked.

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you thinking I was weak. I would rather you think I was lazy than weak.” Graham explained.

“Graham, I don’t think you’re weak, not over something like this. I can talk to your teacher maybe she can…” Morland began.

“No, I don’t want you telling her!” Graham interrupted. “I don’t want her to know. I don’t want anyone to know!”

Morland hesitated. “We don’t have to tell her what happened, we can just tell her it’s a tough subject for you.”

“Yeah but if you do that then she will know something happened and she’ll look at me funny, the way you look at me funny.” Graham whined.

“I don’t look at you funny.” Morland said. 

“Yes you do. You always look sad when you look at me and I don’t want people feeling bad for me okay? I just want people to think I’m normal. I want people to treat me like I’m normal.” Graham pleaded.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to. I won’t tell her if you don’t want me to.” Morland said. 

“Good, I mean we’re almost done with it anyway. Just another week, I’ll read the next book, I promise.” Graham said. 

“Alright, what’s the next book?” Morland asked.

“The Catcher in the Rye.” Graham answered.

Barbara grimaced again. “I think that book’s going to be a little hard on you too, but for different reasons.”

Graham looked up, “Why?”

“It’s about a teenage boy who flunks out of boarding school after his brother dies and he ends up in the hospital after attempting suicide.” Barbara said flatly.

Graham groaned. “Why can’t we just read normal books?”

Barbara smiled, “I believe they are trying to expand your horizons.”

“They are trying to kill me. You can talk to my teacher about that one. That’s at least not embarrassing.” Graham said to his father.

Morland smiled. “That I will do.” 

“I can probably do that one though, I don’t mind reading about death, I just don’t like reading about rape. I couldn’t get through Handsmaids Tale either. It was too creepy.” Graham explained. 

“Well I will agree with you on that one. It was creepy. I’m sorry this took so long to figure out.” Morland said. 

“I just didn’t want anyone to know, I want people to think I’m normal.” Graham repeated.

“Graham, this is normal. This is normal for you, there is no shame in being uncomfortable.” Barbara interjected.

“I guess.” Graham did not look convinced. 

“We are here to support you Graham.” She said.

“In the future, please tell me. I don’t want to fight with you over something like this. I do understand. I won’t think badly of you.” Morland said.

Graham looked at his father for a moment and then said, “Okay. I am trying, I really am trying.”

“I know, I am proud of you for that.” Morland said. 

“Thanks.” Graham answered.

When they left therapy Graham was quiet. He was quiet all the way home and when he got home he did not leave for Sherlock’s like he usually did he simply went into his room and shut the door. He did not even come out for dinner. 

It was then that Morland decided to do something. He knew Graham had told him not to tell his teacher but considering how upset the subject was making him Morland figured Graham would be thankful. There was no harm in giving his teacher a little heads up to help him out, he did not have to explain the whole story. Graham did not even have to know. The next day after Graham left for school Morland called and asked to speak to his English teacher. It was a full hour before she got back to him.

“Hi,” She said, “I only have a few minutes, I have a class in a few but I heard you called and wanted to get in touch with you.” She said.

“Yes, I wanted to get in touch with you about the books you are reading for class.” Morland said.

“Yeah?” She asked almost defensively.

“The one you are reading now, ‘The Color Purple’, it has subject matter that is difficult for Graham.” He said.

“Well it is a difficult subject matter.” She said she was defensive this time. 

“No, I meant difficult for him specifically. He has had some, similar experiences to what happens in the book and he finds it difficult to read.” Morland said, trying to be a little clearer.

“Oh?” She said. There was a pause. “Ohhh,” realization dawn. “Aww, geeze, I had no idea I’m sorry. I can maybe find something else for him to read.”

“I don’t really want attention to be drawn to it, I don’t want him to know I’ve spoken with you. He doesn’t want people to know.” Morland said.

“Well, that’s perfectly understandable, I’ll think of something. Thank you for letting me know.” She said.

“You are welcome, alright, Goodbye.” He said.

Morland hung up the phone feeling accomplished. It was the least he could do for his son.

That afternoon when Graham came home from school, he marched right into Morland’s office and swung the door open so wide it ricocheted off of the wall. Morland jumped in surprise and looked up to see Graham staring at him his face twisted with rage.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Graham demanded.

“Graham what is this about?” He asked.

“DO. YOU. THINK. I. AM. STUPID?” he demanded again.

“Of course not, now tell me what this…” Morland started. 

“YOU TOLD!” Graham shouted at him “I specifically told you not to tell her and you told her!”

“I…” Morland began.

“Don’t try to deny it, I know you did. Do you know what she did? She pulled me aside after class and said she ‘noticed I was uncomfortable’ she tried to get me to talk to her. She gave me a different book.” Graham said.

“I don’t see how that’s a problem.” Morland said, no longer trying to deny it.

“She FEELS bad for me. You didn’t see the look on her face. Now every time she sees me, she’s going to think about it. I don’t want special treatment, I just wanted to be normal.” Graham said. 

“Graham, you are not normal. Nothing about this is normal. I was doing you a favor.” Morland insisted.

“You don’t do favors when I ask you to, why are you doing them now?” Graham demanded.

“I apologize for not being there for you before when you needed me but I will not make that mistake again. I will not apologize for helping you. Once you calm down I am sure you will see…” Morland said.

“AAARGH, it’s useless, I don’t even know why I talk to you!” he shouted and left abruptly. Morland heard stomping as Graham made his way to his room and slammed the door. Morland tried to get back to work, but he found it difficult to concentrate. He had not expected Graham to find out, or for Graham to be so angry when he did. If Graham would just think about it logically he would be thankful. Why did children have to be so difficult?

Morland was shocked when several hours later Graham reappeared in the doorway. His eyes were wet and red. 

“Hey, can we talk?” Graham asked.

Morland nodded. He was going to ask if Graham thought he could manage himself this time, but thought better of it.

“I talked to Sherlock. He told me what you did for him two years ago when he was arrested.” Graham explained.

“Oh?” Morland said, unsure of where this was going.

“He said our family way of solving problems is to attack it with a crowbar.” Graham explained.

“Well that is one way of putting it.” Morland said.

“He also said that it was your way of showing affection, that you don’t really know how to show it other ways. The point I am making is that I know why you did it. I am still angry that you did, but I know why you did.” Graham said.

“I was just trying to help you.” Morland explained.

“Yeah, I know, but just so I know, what did you tell her?” Graham asked.

“I didn’t tell her much, I just said that the subject matter of the book was difficult for you because of your personal experiences. That’s it.” Morland said.

Graham closed his eyes and sighed. “You didn’t tell her anything else?”

“No, I swear to you I did not. She was able to infer from that.” Morland said.

“I guess that’s okay. I mean, I am not happy she knows anything, but I guess that’s okay.” Graham said. 

“Alright.” Morland said.

Graham came in and sat down. He put his head in his hands.

“I can’t trust you.” Graham said.

“Of course you can trust me, I am your father.” Morland said.

“No I can’t. You just do things. I told you specifically not to tell her and you did.” Graham explained.

“I am sorry, I just did what I thought was best.” Morland repeated.

“You’re not really sorry. If you were really sorry you would say you wouldn’t do it again.” Graham said.

“Is that what you want?” Morland asked.

“Yes, don’t tell anyone without asking me and if I say no then don’t tell anyone.” Graham said.

Morland nodded. “Alright, in the future I will do that.”

“Thank you!” Graham said exasperated. “That is all I wanted. If you break this promise, I won’t speak to you again.”

Morland chuckled a little to himself. “Understood.” 

“I mean it.” Graham said.

“I know, I know. I do promise.” He said.

“Good.” Graham said. “That’s all I needed to hear.”

“Is that all?”

“Yeah, goodnight.”

“Goodnight Graham.”

The next few days were tense. Morland could sense that Graham had not quite forgiven him. He seemed to be avoiding him except when he went to actual appointments. There he would be quiet and only respond with one word answers. He continued going to Sherlock’s after school until Friday, the day before school vacation. Graham stopped in at Morland’s office after school.

“Father?” He asked.

“Yes?” Morland asked.

“My friend is having people over for a sleepover tonight, can I go?” Graham asked.

Morland frowned. He did not like the idea of Graham spending the night in a stranger’s house. “Which friend is this?”

“Jeffrey.” Graham answered.

“I have never heard of this Jeffrey, where do you know him from?” Morland asked.

“From school.” Graham answered rolling his eyes. 

“I don’t think so, I don’t know this boy or his parents.” Morland said.

“Aw come on, everyone else is going.” Graham pleaded.

“Well I am not responsible for everyone else’s children. I am responsible for you and I say no.” Morland said.

Graham sighed. “Well can he come over here this week?”

“If it is alright with his parents he may come over here.” Morland compromised.

“Fine, I’ll tell him.” Graham said and left without a fuss. Morland suspected Graham had known he would say no which is why he accepted it so readily. 

The boy in question, Jeffrey came over on Tuesday. He was a tall, white child with freckles and brown hair. He was a little chubby and he seemed pleasant enough. He greeted Morland and then Jeffrey and Graham ran off to the playroom where all of Graham’s game systems were located. 

Morland spent a peaceful day working, he did not hear a peep out of either of them. This was not suspicious at first in such a large house. But Morland became concerned when neither of them came down for lunch. As he climbed the stairs to find them he noticed he did not hear the sounds of games being played or of talking and that did concern him.

He opened the door and saw his son and Jeffrey, a tangle of limbs. They were both fully clothed but their hands were under clothes and their mouths were linked in a kiss. They pulled apart quickly when the door opened and sat at other ends of the couch looking horrified at Morland, their hair and clothes a mess. 

Morland closed his eyes. “Jeffrey, I think you should call your parents and wait for them downstairs.” 

Jeffrey was out the door in a flash, Graham looking mournfully after him. 

“Graham, I want to see you downstairs in my office.” Morland said.

“But…” Graham began.

“Now.” Morland insisted.

Graham sighed and hung his head, he headed past his father and stomped down the stairs. Morland composed himself. How far had they gotten? How far would they have gone if he had not been here to stop them? He was not prepared for this. Mycroft and Sherlock had gone to all boys boarding schools until they were nearly eighteen and neither of them had been interested in other boys. Morland felt he should not be teaching a fourteen year old about the dangers of sex, but he supposed they were well past that. 

When he did get into his office Graham leapt out of his seat and confronted him.

“We didn’t do anything!” he shouted. 

“You did enough.” Morland said.

“But nothing even happened, it was just kissing.” Graham insisted.

“And if I hadn’t come along how long would it have been that?” Morland demanded.

Graham turned red and looked away. “It wasn’t like that! You know I’m gay, you know I date boys or do you have a problem with that?”

Morland sighed. “I don’t have a problem with you being gay, I have a problem with you having sex on my couch.”

“For the last time I wasn’t having sex, I was just kissing.” Graham said.

“I just don’t think you’re ready for it.” Morland said.

“You don’t know what I’m ready for.” Graham shouted.

“Look I just think after everything you’ve been through…” Morland started.

“DO NOT bring that up here! This has nothing to do with that! This is normal. It’s normal to have a boyfriend. Sherlock says it’s normal, my therapist says it’s normal.” Graham said.

“Sherlock knew about this?” Morland asked.

“Sherlock knows I have a boyfriend. I told him not to tell you because you would freak out, which you are.” Graham said.

“I am not… I am not freaking out, I just think you are moving too fast. You don’t know enough about…” Morland started.

“About what? About sex? I know plenty about sex.” Graham reminded him darkly.

“I was going to say about the world.” Morland said with a glare. “And what you know about sex isn’t a proper education.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know about the important bits too. Sherlock told me about consent and protection too. I know all this stuff and they don’t teach it in school. They only teach straight stuff in school.” Graham grumbled.

“Sherlock’s been talking about this with you? Why has Sherlock been talking about this with you?” Morland asked.

“Because I asked okay? And because he said he knew I ‘learned it wrong so he might as well teach me how to get it right.’” Graham explained.

“Well I don’t like him teaching you things like that.” Morland said.

“Well it’s too late, I already know.” Graham said.

“Graham.” Morland took a deep breath. “I am not having this discussion with you. Go to your room and your boyfriend is not allowed to come over any more.”

“UGH” Graham grunted and stomped off. 

Morland picked up his phone and called Sherlock. He answered on the third ring.

“Hello?” Sherlock said.

“Sherlock it is your father.” Morland said.

“Yes, I can tell, I have caller ID.” Sherlock said.

“I want to know what you have been telling Graham about sex.” Morland demanded.

“Okay. Well I spent a good bit of time on consent, what constitutes consent and what does not. Then I talked to him about contraceptives for oral and anal sex. That was it really.” Sherlock said.

“Why did you think it appropriate to tell him this information?” Morland asked.

“Well because he asked. Statistically children who are abused become sexually active younger. Plus the fact that he’s asking about it means he’s thinking about it. Which means that he may do it and I would prefer for him to be prepared.” Sherlock said matter of factly.

“Had you thought of telling him not to do it?” Morland asked.

“Well I did tell him to wait until he was ready but well again just speaking from a pure statistical standpoint telling teenagers not to, has never been successful. Studies show that children who are given comprehensive sexual education wait longer and have lower rates of STDs.” Sherlock said.

“I do not give a damn what the statistics say, I want you to stop talking to him about sex.” Morland demanded.

“Alright, if he asks again I shall just say that you forbade me to speak of it.” Sherlock said sarcastically.

“Thank you Sherlock.” Morland said angrily and hung up the phone. He put his face into his hands. He felt like he was fighting a losing battle. 

Graham brought it up first thing at therapy. “He won’t even let me see my boyfriend.” Graham wailed. 

“That’s not what…” Morland said.

“He kicked him out of the house.” Graham continued.

“Graham you are being hysterical, I just don’t think you should really dating at this age.” Morland said.

“Everyone is dating! Annabelle has a girlfriend!” Graham said.

“Well I can’t speak for other parents I just don’t think it’s appropriate.” Morland said.

“Stop, stop, stop, back up. What happened this week?” The therapist asked. 

“I walked in on him and this young man...” Morland said.

“We were just kissing!” Graham shouted.

“It looked like a good deal more than kissing.” Morland said.

“Well it wasn’t. I didn’t do anything wrong.” Graham looked close to tears.

“So what are the rules on dating in your household?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” Morland asked.

“I mean what are the guidelines he’s supposed to follow. Do you just not want him dating at all?” Barbara asked.

“No, he’s too young for that sort of thing. None of my other children dated before they were eighteen.” Morland said.

“That’s because they were straight and went to all boys boarding schools and yes they did because there were sister schools and Mycroft used to sneak out. Which you would know if you paid any attention.” Graham said.

Morland was taken aback. That was something he had not known. He thought he knew all of Mycroft’s exploits, that sounded more like something Sherlock would do, but then again Sherlock did not get along so well with people. 

“Alright, so I hear you that you want no dating, I am not going to argue with that, I will just point out that dating around this age is normal.” Barbara said.

“See I just want to be normal. Normal people date and have boyfriends and whatever.” Graham grumbled.

“What are you worried about with Graham dating?” Barbara asked.

“I am worried about him getting sexually involved. I feel like the whole subject has gotten away from me with Graham I am afraid.” Morland confessed.

“I am not having sex!” Graham shouted. “I just have a normal boyfriend with normal kissing.”

“Well how about a compromise, how about if Graham could still see his boyfriend but under supervision, he can still date but you know he won’t be having sex.” She said.

Morland grumbled, not wanting to give up his position but feeling it would look better for him to compromise. “I suppose, if there were evenings that I have time, I could supervise a date or two.”

“No, Jeffrey’s afraid of you after you kicked him out of the house. How about I go over to his house?” Graham asked.

“Absolutely not, I don’t trust their supervision.” Morland protested. 

“Ugh.” Graham sat back in the chair. “What about Sherlock? If I can get him to agree to it can I see Jeffrey at Sherlock’s?”

“I don’t know if I trust Sherlock, especially with what he told you.” Morland said darkly.

“Well he’s not going to let me have sex in front of him. Not that I want to, that’s gross. Look you trust Sherlock right? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” Graham said.

“Fine, you may meet each other at Sherlock’s IF Sherlock agrees to it.” Morland said.

Graham smiled. “Cool fine, I’ll text him now.” His attention went to his phone. He stood up and walked out. “Yeah, I think I’m done today, thanks.” 

Morland went to get up and Barbara urged him to sit. “This seems to bother you.”

“Well yes, my teenage son is sexually active and everyone is conspiring against me.” Morland grumbled.

“Do you think I am conspiring against you?” she asked.

“Yes, you keep telling him it’s normal to date. Nothing he has been through is normal and he shouldn’t be treated as such.” Morland said.

“Well his experiences with sex certainly weren’t normal, his thoughts about it are. It is normal for him to think about sex, he just needs a safe place to talk about it.” She explained.

“I don’t want to encourage it.” Morland insisted.

“Not encourage it, no, you can still let him know you disapprove but the last thing you want is for something to happen again and for him to be too afraid to tell you.” She said.

Morland squirmed. “No, I don’t want anything to happen again.” He muttered.

“It’s just that you need to keep an open mind. Teenagers these days will find a way, and you would rather not have him sneaking around behind your back. If you want him to be honest with you, you are going to have to be a little more openminded.” She said.

“I suppose.” Morland said.

“Just think on it. Alright, you can go, see you next week.” She said.

“Yes, of course.” He left. 

Graham was in the waiting room playing on his phone. He smiled when he saw him. “Sherlock said it was okay and Jeffrey is cool with it.”

“Well that’s good.” Morland said. He felt uncomfortable, like things were getting out of control. He was not good with children really, that was why he hired people who were good with children. It was just hard to listen to them when they told him things he did not want to hear. Still he would keep a close eye on Graham dating, he did not want the boy hurt. Again.


	5. Graham story Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and Graham explore their relationship.

Sherlock had agreed to let Graham bring his boyfriend over a few times a week. Sherlock was not keen on having more people in his home, but Graham had explained. Their father had forbade him from dating unless Sherlock would supervise. Knowing full well what it was like to grow up under their father’s rules Sherlock agreed. 

The first day he met him, Sherlock was unimpressed. He remained unimpressed. He found the boy unobservant and dull, he only desired to play videogames and watch videos of other people play video games. He had none of the brightness and spark that Graham had. Sherlock was also disappointed to find that times that Jeffrey was over Graham also engaged in lazy activities with him. Truth be told Sherlock actually liked teaching him so he was irritated on days when Graham had no wish to learn. 

Still Sherlock considered it was probably just a school boy crush fueled more by hormones than anything really substantial. He had been forbidden to speak about sex with Graham and Graham had not actually asked anything, the two seemed content with holding hands and cuddling on the couch and occasionally stealing kisses when they thought no one was looking. Sherlock gave it a few weeks, maybe a month at most. In fact the relationship lasted two and a half months before Graham came over one day without Jeffrey. 

Sherlock had been expecting the two of them and when only Graham showed up and Sherlock saw the look on his face, he could only guess what happened. Graham collapsed in Sherlock’s arms and sobbed heavily. 

Sherlock was a little bit surprised, surely a two month relationship should not cause this much distress but Sherlock was not going to judge. 

“What’s the matter?” Sherlock asked. 

“It’s everything, everyone at school, they’re assholes.” Graham choked through sobs. 

“What happened?” Sherlock asked. 

It took Graham several minutes to calm down enough to talk. He held onto Sherlock tightly in the meantime. Once he was calm and able to let go he, in a shaky voice was able to tell the story.

“Annabelle cheated on her girlfriend at a concert last weekend. She made out with a girl she met there and the pictures ended up all over instagram. People found out and her girlfriend broke up with her but now everyone is telling her to kill herself. People keep sending her messages that she should kill herself and it’s not fair. I know she screwed up but people shouldn’t be asking her to die over it.” Graham explained.

“Ah, well children can be cruel.” Sherlock said.

“I know, people used to do that to me and I did almost kill myself. I’m afraid that Annabelle is going to do something.” Graham insisted.

“Did you tell her parents?” Sherlock asked.

“No, I don’t know how and Annabelle hasn’t been answering messages. I don’t even know where she lives.” Graham wailed.

“Did you try calling her?” Sherlock asked.

“No, hold on.” Graham said.

Graham called Annabelle, he sat in silence for several seconds. 

“Mrs. Belmont, it’s Graham, I was calling to talk to Annabelle, I wanted to know if she was okay.” Graham said.

There was a pause for several seconds.

“Annabelle it’s me, are you okay?” Graham asked. 

Sherlock could hear sobs on the other side of the phone. 

“Do you want me to come over? Hold on I’ll ask.” Graham said.

“Sherlock can you take me to Annabelle’s house?” Graham asked.

Sherlock hesitated. Their father had been real strict about where Graham was allowed to go.

“Father will say it’s fine if you go with me. Please? It’s an emergency.” Graham begged.

In Sherlock’s opinion it was less of an emergency and more teenage melodrama but Graham was distressed and this was clearly important to him. Graham sent a quick message to Morland telling him where they were going. As was suspected he agreed as long as Sherlock went with him. 

They arrived at Annabelle’s house and were greeted by her mother. She was wearing black leggings and a t-shirt. In her hand she held a glass of red wine. She smiled when she saw the two of them.

“Hello Graham, Annabelle’s in her room, it’s the third door on the left.” Graham nodded and raced off to see her, leaving Sherlock alone with her mother.

“So, would you care for a glass of wine?” She asked.

“Oh, no thank you, I don’t drink.” Sherlock said.

“That’s fair, so you’re Graham’s brother, Sherlock right? The detective?” she asked.

“Yes.” Sherlock said.

“Well pleased to meet you, I’m Marie.” She extended a hand and Sherlock shook it. 

“A pleasure.” He answered.

“Well come on in and have a seat.” She led him into a living room immaculately decorated with purple couches. She sat in an oversized love seat and Sherlock sat opposite to her. 

“So teenagers huh?” She commented. 

“Yes?” Sherlock said unsure how to answer.

“It wasn’t like this when we were their age, all this facebook and twitter nonsense. They never get a break it seems.” She continued sipping her wine.

“No.” Sherlock said, he felt like she was more talking to herself and did not need his input really. 

“Annabelle will be okay I think. I tell her this will pass, but it is not very helpful I am afraid. Not in the here and now. I am glad she has your brother though, he seems like a sweet kid.” She said.

“He is, not sure where he gets it from.” Sherlock said with a smile.

“Well I know where Annabelle gets her personality from. It’s from her father, she has his sense. God help her. I worry about her, do you have any children?” She asked.

“No.” Sherlock answered.

“Ah well good luck with that, they will age you. Let me tell you.” She commented. 

“I’m sure.” Sherlock said.

“So, detective huh? What led you into that?” She asked.

“It started out as a hobby and then became a passion.” Sherlock said.

“Oh that’s so nice doing what you love. I wish I could say I was as passionate about my work. I’m a realtor, you live in a Brownstone right?” She asked.

“That’s correct.” Sherlock said.

“Ever thought about selling it? It’s a good market out there.” She said.

“No, it’s not actually mine. It’s my father’s.” He said.

“Ah well, no harm in asking, always looking for business.” She drained her glass of wine.

“Should we check on them?” Sherlock asked. 

Marie waved her hand. “No, I find it best to let them figure it out themselves. Annabelle is very emotional but she gets over it real quick. I did call the school though, gave them a few names and a piece of my mind, they said they would deal with it, hopefully they do. I can’t abide bullying like this.”

“No.” Sherlock said.

“Annabelle said Graham had his own problems with bullies?” she asked.

“I do not believe he would like me talking about it.” He said.

“Oh, sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to pry, just making conversation. I just don’t remember kids being this mean when I was younger.” She said.

“They were.” He said.

“Oh, shit sorry, didn’t mean to bring up a sore subject.” She said.

“It’s fine really.” Sherlock said.

“Do you think I did the right thing calling the school? I don’t know how involved to get myself. I want Annabelle to figure things out herself but kids telling each other to kill themselves is just too far. That’s why I took her phone, I didn’t want her to keep looking at it.” She said.

“I don’t know I’m not a parent.” Sherlock said.

“Well I just knew I had to do something. I couldn’t let it continue. I don’t think she would but what if she did try something? I’d never forgive myself.” She said.

“Probably not.” Sherlock agreed.

At that moment Graham and Annabelle emerged from Annabelle’s room. Graham had his arm around Annabelle. Her face was down and her hair covered her face. The parts that were not covered were blotchy and red. She was sniffing but no longer crying. 

“Aww, baby.” Marie said and stood up, her arms stretched wide.

Annabelle detached from Graham and folded into her mom’s hug. Her mother gently rubbed her back. 

“Are you feeling any better?” Marie asked.

“Yeah.” Annabelle managed weakly. 

“Do you want to get pizza?” Marie asked.

“Yeah.” Annabelle said.

Marie looked over Annabelle’s shoulder at Sherlock. “Would you all like to stay for pizza.”

Graham looked at Sherlock hopefully but Sherlock had had enough of an awkward situation. They had seen Annabelle and it looked like things were going to be alright. Sherlock just would rather go home. 

“Actually I think we should get going.” He said.

Marie nodded and showed them the way out. Graham did not argue. In the car he let out a sigh of relief.

“You doing alright?” Sherlock asked.

“Yeah, I’m okay. She says she wasn’t thinking about doing it. She was more mad at them for saying it than anything.” Graham explained.

“Well that is one way of looking at it.” Sherlock said.

“I think I’m her only friend now.” Graham said.

“Hmm.” Sherlock said, not sure what else to say.

“I broke up with Jeffrey.” Graham continued.

“Oh?” Sherlock had suspected but he thought it better to let Graham tell it.

“Yeah, he was one of the ones doing it. I tried confronting him about it but I got too upset and just started yelling and crying, I think it freaked everyone out. Mrs. Patterson had to calm me down.” Graham said.

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out.” Sherlock said, trying to sound sincere.

“It’s okay. I know you didn’t like him anyway.” Graham said.

“It’s not that I didn’t like him, I just thought that he was lazy and useless. You could do so much better than him.” Sherlock said.

Graham smiled. “Thanks. Hey can I ask you a question about Father?”

“I will do my best to answer.” Sherlock said.

“Do you think Father has a problem with me being Gay? I mean he says he doesn’t but he had a problem with me dating. I don’t know if he would have a problem if it was a girl.” Graham said.

“He probably would have had more of a problem if it was a girl. He used to be terrified that Mycroft or I would get someone pregnant.” Sherlock explained.

“Oh. Okay.” Graham said.

“I don’t think he has a problem with it. I just don’t think he thought about it to be honest.” Sherlock said.

“Yeah that makes sense. Thanks.” Graham said.

He was silent for a moment. “Sherlock, are you ever going to have any kids?”

“No, I have thought about it but I am not interested in having children. Children do not really fit into my current lifestyle.” Sherlock explained.

“Yeah, hey I noticed you haven’t been working on cases lately.” Graham said.

“No, well they don’t actually pay me like they do Joan so I only take on particularly interesting or difficult cases they need my assistance on.” Sherlock said.

“I thought you worked more.” Graham commented.

“I used to when I was bored, take on more cases, but lately I have been training you, that has been more interesting.” Sherlock said.

“Oh, thanks.” Graham blushed.

“I discovered with Joan that I liked mentoring. I find it very inspiring.” Sherlock said.

“Cool. I mean I don’t know that I want to be a detective but the stuff you teach me is cool.” Graham said.

“Well I am sure it will at least be useful.” Sherlock said.

“Yeah, I mean that too.” Graham said with a smile. 

The next day Graham came over with Annabelle in tow. Sherlock was surprised and more than a little annoyed that Graham had not asked permission first. He was being truthful he did enjoy the mentoring but he was beginning to feel like a babysitter, he was not up for that. 

“Sorry,” Graham said immediately, “Annabelle was still feeling down and I invited her over and I didn’t remember to ask but you were okay with Jeffrey so I figured you would be okay with her.”

Sherlock sighed. “Not really, but you both are here, come on in.”

Annabelle frowned and Graham sheepishly followed him into the house.   
“Sorry.” Graham said again. “If you want her to go…”

“She can stay if she doesn’t get in the way. Are we going to be continuing with our lessons today or were you planning on playing video games?” Sherlock said accusingly.

“We can still do lessons.” Graham said sheepishly.

“Very well, we can continue with our single stick training.” Sherlock said.

They all went to the roof and Annabelle sat down on the edge and watched them spar. Graham was struggling to learn a move and Sherlock was getting frustrated. 

“No move it to your left, LEFT.” Sherlock shouted.

“I am trying.” Graham grumbled. 

“Well stop trying and do it!” Sherlock shouted. He immediately regretted it because Graham suddenly looked like he had been punched. “I’m sorry.” He said immediately. 

Graham just looked away and put the stick down.

“Hey, that looks kind of like fencing.” Annabelle said.

“Oh, well sort of, some of the principles are the same.” Sherlock said.

“Do you fence?” she asked.

“Yes. On occasion.” Sherlock said.

“Foil or saber?” she asked.

“Bit of both actually.” He said.

“Cool, I do saber. Want a bout?” she asked.

Sherlock looked back at Graham who had telescoped his baton, indicating that he was done for now. 

“I kind of want to see that.” Graham said. He sat on the edge of the roof, Sherlock noticed a grin. So he was okay. 

“Alright, let me get my things.” Sherlock said.

It took some time but before long they were both suited up and equipped. Sherlock noticed her stance, it was practiced. She was clearly trained. 

“Alright,” He said, “En garde, ready, fence!”

He watched her feet, saw her move and then in an instant ‘Paff’, he was struck in the shoulder. He stepped back. He had barely seen her move. They went again, three rounds in total and each time he was struck within seconds. Finally he removed his mask. She removed hers and both her and Graham were grinning.

“Yeah, she’s really good. She’s going to try for the Olympics.” Graham said. 

“Well she is really good. I am impressed.” Sherlock said and he held out his hand. She shook it. Sherlock was impressed, he actually liked this friend of Graham’s, she was at least interesting. When she left Sherlock told Graham that she was welcome at any time. 

As it turned out Annabelle was not available much. She had a lot of after school activities, fencing, horseback riding. School ended a month later and Graham was able to spend his full day at Sherlock’s again. A few days into their day long training sessions Graham asked Sherlock a question.

“Hey, on my birthday I am going to a party at Annabelle’s and her mom wanted to make sure you were invited as well.” Graham said.

“She invited me?” Sherlock asked.

“Yeah, she kind of felt bad that it happened on my birthday so she is kind of doing birthday stuff for me too. So you and Father are invited. It’s a pool party.” Graham explained.

“I am not so sure that would be a good idea for me.” Sherlock said.

“There’s not going to be any alcohol there, I checked. To be honest, it’s not going to be much of a party. I think I’m Annabelle’s only friend right now.” Graham said.

Sherlock sighed. “Do you want me to go?”

“I mean you don’t have to…but yeah.” Graham said.

“Alright, I will go, at least for a little bit.” Sherlock promised.

“Thanks Sherlock.” Graham said with a grin.

“Don’t mention it.” Sherlock said, he meant it.

Sherlock arrived at the party wearing a t-shirt and wielding a plate of cookies he had made. Joan had insisted that he had to bring something edible so he supposed this was a good compromise. He stepped into the pool yard and was immediately greeted by a ‘HEADS’ and he was whacked in the head with a very wet beach ball.

“ANNABELLE WE DO NOT HIT OUR GUESTS!” Marie shouted and she rushed over. She was wearing a bathing suit and shawl. She grabbed the cookies from Sherlock.

“Oh, thank you sweetie.” She said to Sherlock and patted him on the arm as she took them away and put them on a separate table.

Sherlock scanned the area. Graham had not been lying when he said it was small. There was Annabelle’s mother fussing by the desserts. His father was over dressed and seated at a small table. Graham and Annabelle were in the pool. There were a few other adults mingling around, they appeared to be relatives.

“Hey Sherlock!” Graham called out when he saw him arrive. He crawled out of the pool and ran over to Sherlock and gave him a large wet hug. Sherlock tried not to flinch.

“You’re wet.” He said.

“Oh, sorry, I forgot.” Graham said. 

Annabelle came running up behind him, wearing a black sporty one piece. “Sherlock!” She exclaimed and to Sherlock’s surprise she also gave him a large, wet hug. He stood there stiffly unsure of how to react.

“ANNABELLE, BOUNDARIES!” shouted Marie.

“SORRY!” Annabelle shouted back, “Sorry.” She said to Sherlock and then both her and Graham darted away.

Marie came up to Sherlock sporting a towel which she handed to him. “Sorry about that, she’s never been good about personal space.” She then took Sherlock by the arm and guided him to the table where his father and she were seated. 

“I was just telling your father that it was funny that it was Graham’s birthday. We have this party for Annabelle’s friends every year. Unfortunately this year, Annabelle was short on friends. We almost didn’t have it but she said it was Graham’s birthday and that he didn’t have a party of his own plans so I thought it would be nice to combine it.” She explained.

“It was very nice.” Morland said. 

“Well from what Annabelle says it sounds like he’s had a hard couple of years.” She commented. 

Sherlock and Morland exchanged a look. A lot had happened for Graham in the past few years, they did not know exactly what she was referring to or how much Graham had told Annabelle. 

Marie continued. “I got a cake, I didn’t know what kind to get so I got chocolate. I hope that’s okay.”

“That’s fine.” Morland said.

“ANNABELLE PUT GRAHAM DOWN!” Marie shouted. A quick scan showed that Annabelle had picked Graham up and was trying to carry him toward the pool. She immediately put him down and Graham ran off and jumped into the pool.

“Sorry.” Marie said again, “She’s doesn’t make good decisions sometimes.”

Morland smiled. “I know what that’s like.” He said and looked slyly at Sherlock with a smile. Sherlock did not return the smile. Marie did not notice.

“Well it’s her ADHD really. It makes her so hyper and impulsive. It’s going to be such a chore when she goes for the Olympics and can’t take her medication. This is her medicated, when she’s not she’s just off the wall.” She explained.

Sherlock and Morland nodded. 

“So what’s Graham up to this summer? I know Annabelle is spending a couple weeks with her dad and she’s spending two weeks at horseback camp.” She said.

“We haven’t made specific plans yet…” Morland started. Sherlock suspected he had not thought of anything.

“Oh, does he like horseback riding? He should try to get into the camp that Annabelle’s in. I have to have her do something for the summer, avoid the slump, that’s why I love camps so much, it’s a shame it’s only two weeks.” She said.

“I don’t think that’s really the right fit for Graham.” Morland said. 

Marie shrugged. “Right that’s okay, they do have some very inclusive camps if that’s what you’re worried about. You won’t have to worry about bullying at all. I can give you their information if you want.” She pulled out her phone and started typing away.

“Really Marie, that is not necessary. Graham is fine for the summer.” He said a little more forcefully.

Marie’s face fell. “OH right, of course you wouldn’t.” She put a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry Annabelle told me what happened. I can not imagine. No wonder you don’t trust people with him.” She put her hand on her heart.

Morland looked a mixture of confused, surprised and upset. “I…well we… well…” so she did know. Sherlock supposed he should talk to Graham about trusting Annabelle. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to talk about it, I’m sorry I brought it up, we’ll talk about something else.” She said quickly.

“Yes, thank you.” Morland said uncomfortably.

“Anyway,” Marie continued adjusting her hair. “We are going to a theme park in up state New York later this summer if you would like to come.” Sherlock was trying to recover from the conversational whiplash to realize it was an invitation.

“Well I don’t know we will really have to see.” Morland said. 

“It’s okay, no pressure, just thought it would be fun thing for the families to do.” She said.

“I’m just not sure Graham really likes theme parks. He didn’t like them last time he went.” Morland said.

“Well it’s open to you guys if you want. ANNABELLE GET OVER HERE! Excuse me, I have to handle this.” She said and she went off to scold her daughter.

Morland and Sherlock exchanged a look. “I’ll talk to him.” Sherlock said. Morland nodded. 

The rest of the party passed without incident. No more was said about Graham’s trauma. Marie was interesting, it was difficult to get a word in edgewise. Sherlock stepped out early. 

The next time Sherlock talked to Graham was the next night. They were attempting another movie night on the roof. They were seated in their chairs when Sherlock decided to brooch the subject.

“Graham, there is something I wanted to talk to you about.” Sherlock said.

“Yeah?” Graham asked, his eyes did not leave the screen.

“It’s Annabelle, I know you’re friends but I wanted you to be careful with what you talked to her about.” Sherlock said.

“Why?” Graham asked.

“Well Annabelle may not be the best person to keep secrets. I was talking to her mother and she knows about your sexual abuse.” Sherlock said.

Graham looked down. “Oh.” 

“Yes, I am sure she doesn’t mean to, but I am just not sure you can trust her with sensitive information.” Sherlock said.

“Yeah, I know. She can’t even keep her own secrets. I figured it would be safe to tell her because it’s not like she has any friends right now but me. I guess her mom knowing is okay too.” Graham said.

“Are you sure?” Sherlock asked.

“Yeah, to be honest I don’t care if people know anymore. I mean not everybody, but some people are okay. After father told my English teacher things did get better, there was less pressure. Just don’t tell him that okay?” Graham said.

“I won’t.” Sherlock said seriously.

“It actually hurt more keeping it a secret. That’s why I told you that night. I knew you would have to do something about it and I was scared what would happen but I had to tell someone besides Jodi. It felt like it was burning a hole inside me. That’s what it felt like when I was pretending to be normal around Annabelle. She was talking about having a crush on our Italian teacher and I wanted her to stop so I felt I had to tell her why.” Graham explained.

“I see.” Sherlock said.

“I said I didn’t want to be treated different, but I guess I kind of do.” Graham said.

“That makes sense.” Sherlock said.

“Yeah, I like Annabelle, she is easy to talk to. I feel like I can tell her anything and she won’t judge me. I just have to be okay with her telling everything to her mom.” Graham said.

“Well as long as you are alright with it.” Sherlock said.

“It’s kind of like talking to you. That night I told you what happened, I told you because I knew you wouldn’t freak out or anything. I was afraid to tell father because I knew he would be upset and I didn’t know how he would react. He was scared. I didn’t expect him to be scared.” Graham said.

“Well it is a scary thing to find out.” Sherlock said.

“Yeah I know, sort of like when I was in the hospital after swallowing all those pills I thought he would be angry but I think he was just sad.” Graham said.

“I think he was scared then too.” Sherlock said.

“Yeah, probably, I just, I guess I didn’t know him very well. He really only communicated over the phone or e-mail and I always felt he was disappointed in me. He seemed so impossible to please I thought he didn’t like me.” Graham said.

“No, he was just always like that.” Sherlock reassured.

“Yeah, he’s explained. He thought disapproval would motivate me to try harder. The therapist kind of yelled at him and explained how that doesn’t work. He’s better now about it.” Graham explained.

“Well that’s good, I had thought him incapable of change. But he appears to be making some changes in his old age.” Sherlock said.

“Yeah, I really thought he would have gotten bored by now and gone back to his old routine of never being there, but he hasn’t. I think I really did scare him.” Graham said.

“You did, but I think he needed to be scared. Not that what happened to you was okay, but it was the only way he was going to change.” Sherlock said.

“I guess. Sometimes it sucks though. He’s so paranoid now that I can’t do anything. I can’t go to people’s houses, he won’t let me go to camp. I used to really like camp. It’s kind of lonely. I mean I’m used to being at boarding school where I was surrounded by people all the time. I mean it sucked when they were all assholes all the time, but before that when I had friends, it was kind of nice. I was never lonely. It’s kind of lonely now.” Graham explained.

“I’m sorry.” Sherlock said.

“It’s not your fault. I do have you. It has been great hanging out with you. It’s nice to have a brother again. To be honest, this has been the best year I have had since before Mycroft died. So thank you.” Graham said.

“You are welcome.” Sherlock said.

“I love you Sherlock.” Graham said.

“I…I love you too.” Sherlock said.

The rest of the evening was spent in silence watching the movie. It was something Sherlock had picked and Graham fell asleep halfway through. Sherlock watched the movie by himself. He was surprised, he did not think he liked children, but he felt very protective of Graham. He wanted him to be happy, he wanted him to have better. He had to admit to himself that spending time with him each day was more than just being a mentor, he actually enjoyed being a big brother.

In the end Sherlock did end up getting roped into taking Graham to the theme park. It was a weekday and their father had work. Graham had really wanted to go and Sherlock would have felt guilty if he did not take him. Sherlock thought that theme parks were frivolous and stupid but who was he to argue with a couple of fifteen year olds. 

Annabelle was noticeably excited. She shouted more than talked and she ran more than she walked. Graham he noticed was noticeably less excited. He almost seemed to shrink inside himself as they entered into the park. The park indeed was overwhelming, thousands of people milling about, people shouting, music was piped in over the crowds and each ride had it’s own little sound effect. Sherlock found himself struggling to pay attention to everything. 

He did notice Graham seemed to be struggling as well. He fidgeted nervously. Annabelle practically dragged him from place to place. Sherlock noticed that Graham’s brow was furrowed in concentration and it looked like he was clenching his teeth the whole time. He also fell silent and answered only in one word or small gestures when asked questions. He also started falling behind the group as everyone struggled to keep up with Annabelle.

Finally after two hours of watching this Sherlock approached him.

“You are not having a good time.” It was a statement not a question.

Graham shook his head.

“Would you like to go home?” Sherlock asked.

Graham nodded. 

Sherlock approached Marie and explained and they said their goodbyes. Annabelle was confused but she gave Graham a hug and they parted ways. Sherlock called for a car and they exited the park and sat on a bench. Once they sat down outside Graham heaved a sigh of relief and leaned back and closed his eyes.

“Are you alright?” Sherlock asked.

“It’s alright, I just got overwhelmed.” Graham said.

“It is overwhelming in there.” Sherlock stated.

“Yeah and I have sensory issues too. Too many people and too many sounds are just too much stimulus for me.” Graham said.

“I have similar issues myself.” Sherlock said.

“Do you have a sensory processing disorder too?” Graham asked.

“I…I am not sure.” Sherlock said.

“They probably were not diagnosing it when you were little. I guess it’s fairly new. But when I was a kid I had a lot of tantrums and a lot of trouble at school and they got me tested. They found out that I had a sensory processing disorder and ADHD. Not like Annabelle has, I have the inattentive type. I didn’t have to be on medication for it, but I wore headphones in class until about year seven when I didn’t want to have to answer questions about it. It’s probably genetic.” Graham explained.

“I’ve often wondered if I was somewhere on the Autism Spectrum.” Sherlock said.

Graham shrugged, “I don’t know, probably. There is a strong connection between Autism and sensory processing disorders. They actually don’t give out the sensory processing disorder diagnosis alone it’s always connected to something. Mine was connected to ADHD. You could get tested. The tests are better now than when you were younger.” 

“I don’t really feel it’s necessary at this point. I’ve learned ways of getting by.” Sherlock said.

“Yeah, me too. I didn’t bring my headphones today because I didn’t want to explain them, but I probably should have. I don’t even have to have stuff playing in it, it just blocks out the noise. I also have a weighted blanket that’s really helpful when I’m stressed.” Graham explained.

“I don’t have a weighted blanket but I do have heavy blankets. I also enjoy the sensation of being upside down.” Sherlock explained.

“Upside down, really?” Graham asked.

“Yes, I have a device. You strap yourself in and hang upside down. It gets the blood flowing to the head, really helps me think.” Sherlock said.

“I have to see that some time, it sounds really cool.” Graham said.

“I’ll show you when we get back. Father is not actually expecting you back for hours.” Sherlock said.

“Can we not tell him we left early? I got into a heated argument with him about whether or not I even like theme parks and I don’t want him to know he was right.” Graham said.

Sherlock smiled. “Of course.” 

Graham laid his head on Sherlock’s shoulder and fell asleep waiting for the car. Sherlock just let him be.


	6. Graham Story Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heart warming story between Graham and Morland.

It was Graham’s first day of his sophomore year of high school and Morland was waiting to see him off. When Graham came down the stairs Morland frowned. Graham was dressed in black jeans and a black printed t-shirt and his eyes were circled in black eyeliner.

“Is that how you’re going to school?” Morland questioned. 

“Yeah why?” Graham asked testily.

“It’s a little dark.” Morland said.

“There’s no dress code so there’s no rule against it.” Graham said defensively.

“No, just why the eyeliner though?” Morland asked.

“I just like it.” Graham said testily.

“Are you sure the other kids will approve?” Morland asked seriously.

“The only other ‘kids’ I care about are Annabelle and she’s going to love it. Can I go now?” Graham asked.

“Yes, you can go.” Morland said and Graham stalked off to school. 

Morland thought nothing of it until Graham came home later that day. He noticed Graham trying to sneak past his office, Morland came out to check.

“Graham?” Morland asked.

Graham jumped and turned.

“What did you do?” Morland asked. Graham’s hair was a bright blue. It was done messily too, there were spots on his forehead and one on his ear. Morland went over to investigate and saw that Graham’s ears were now pierced and already inflamed. Morland touched one and Graham pulled away. “Why would you do this?” Morland demanded.

“I just wanted to look different.” Graham said.

“So you mutilate yourself?” Morland asked.

“It’s not mutilation it’s just piercing.” Graham grumbled.

“Did Sherlock do this?” Morland asked.

“No, I did Sherlock had nothing to do with this. He didn’t even know about it until afterwards.” Graham said.  
“I just want to know why?” Morland demanded.

Graham sighed. “If you must know, it’s because I am trying to establish bodily autonomy.”

Morland blinked. “What does that mean?”

“That means that like most rape victims I feel out of control of my own body and I am trying to establish ownership of it by experimenting with my appearance.” Graham explained.

“So to do this you need to wear make up, dye your hair and pierce your ears?” Morland asked.

“It could be worse, some people do it by having sex with lots of strangers.” Graham said.

Morland sighed. “I suppose I can accept the hair. The ears will need to be fixed, they look infected already, it can stay. Next time, let me get it done professionally, this just looks like a mess.”

“I was also thinking about getting a tattoo.” Graham tried.

“Don’t press your luck.” Morland said and headed back to his office. Graham grinned and headed up the stairs.

As far as teenage rebellions go this was a mild one. He could handle blue hair and pierced ears. He had not been expecting it, and would have preferred not to have to deal with it, but if it made Graham more comfortable it was harmless. At least he was not starting fires or getting girls pregnant. 

Morland was still strict but he allowed Annabelle to come over sometimes. Graham had not said another word about having or wanting a boyfriend and Morland was relieved. It seemed strange not to have to worry about his teenage son around girls, but there it was. Although one afternoon he had a need to talk to Graham about something and he found them in the room seated on the couch. Annabelle was laying back with her legs across Graham’s lap and his hand resting on her leg. They merely looked up when he entered and did not jump back embarrassed like last time. Graham just answered the question and then went right back to watching their movie. Still to be sure, Morland left the door open, just in case. 

Later after Annabelle had left Morland took Graham aside. 

”Graham, I had wanted to ask, are you and Annabelle, an item?” he asked.

“What? Father, you know we’re both gay right?” Graham retorted.

“I know you told me but I saw her sitting in your lap earlier, so I wondered if you two were dating.” Morland said.

“Oh, no, I’m just touch starved.” Graham said simply.

“You are what?” Morland was lost.

Graham sighed and began to explain. “Look you and Sherlock don’t like physical touch. You don’t express love physically and that’s okay, your affection styles are different and you show love in other ways. But for me, I need physical contact. It’s part of my sensory disorder or something, but I really need human touch and I can’t get that from you or Sherlock but I can get it from Annabelle. We don’t do anything weird or sexual or anything, we just sort of hug and cuddle. Also I am a boy and in this toxically masculine society I am not allowed to express affection with other boys through physical touch unless I want to date them, but Annabelle is a girl, so she is safe.” 

Morland looked at him and absorbed all of that information or at least tried to. “So you are not dating?” he asked.

“Right, just friends. Kind of like how Sherlock and Joan are just friends. We are both still gay.” Graham explained.

“Alright, just checking, you know it’s not that I can’t be physically affectionate…” Morland said.

“Looks hugs have made you uncomfortable since I was a little kid. It used to bother me until I learned about affection styles. Mycroft was the only one that did hugs well. I suppose I’m more like him.” Graham said. 

“I always thought you were more like Sherlock. You were similar as children.” Morland said.

“Yeah? Sherlock probably has sensory processing disorder too, they just didn’t test for it back then. Did you know that Sherlock thinks he might be autistic?” Graham asked.

“I did not, we did have him tested when he started having trouble…” Morland started.

“Yeah but that was when, the eighties? The nineties? The tests back then were rubbish. We talked about it. He likes some of the same stuff I do.” Graham said.

“I noticed. He did not have the problem with the electrical sockets though.” Morland said.

“Hey it is not my fault that I liked the feeling of being electrocuted or that I figured out child proofing.” Graham said.

Morland chuckled. “You certainly had it in for that nanny.” 

Graham smiled. “Yeah, I liked her. She also did hugs.”

“If I recall your mother was very affectionate.” Morland said.

“Yeah? I don’t remember that about her. I don’t really have any good memories about her anyway.” Graham said.

“I know Graham, I’m sorry.” Morland said.

“You know I’ve been meaning to ask, but it’s never really come up. I mean, I knew her but did she ever have any family? I mean no one came to the funeral, but then again, not a lot of people came to that funeral.” Graham said.

“I don’t really know. I know her father died in the genocide and she came to the states with her mother but I don’t know much more than that. I don’t know if she is still alive or not.” Morland said.

“Oh,” Graham fidgeted, “So she might still be alive then?”

“Quite possibly.” Morland said.

“Well, if she is, can you find her for me? I would really like to meet her.” Graham said.

“It will take some time. I don’t really even know their names, but I can give it a try.” Morland said.

“That’s all I ask. It’s just, it’s sometimes really hard being the only non-white one in the family.” Graham said.

“I have tried to treat you just as fairly as any of my children white or not.” Morland said defensively.

“No, you have, it’s not that. It’s just. Well it’s hard to explain really, I don’t know if I can. I think it’s that a lot of people don’t believe we’re related, or they treat me different, or say weird things. Joan gets it.” Graham said.

“I have tried the best I can to shield you from racism, but there are some things even I can’t fix.” Morland said.

“Yeah, that’s true. I think the point is I would just really like to meet the Cambodian side of my family. I just feel disconnected.” Graham said.

“Well I will try to find your grandmother for you so maybe you can feel connected.” Morland said.

“Thanks for understanding, or at least trying to understand.” Graham said and he walked away.

Morland did search but it was in his spare time, so he did not get very far when Graham approached him a few days later. 

“Father can I ask a question?” Graham asked.

“You can but if it is about me finding your grandmother I haven’t really begun looking yet.” Morland said.

“No, it’s not that, I had something I wanted to show you.” Graham said.

“Well show me.” Morland said.

Graham left for a moment and came back several minutes later carrying his laptop and a small projector. He set up the laptop on the table and the projector so that it projected onto the side wall.

“Is this some sort of school project?” Morland asked.

“No, hold on.” Graham clicked on something and it went to a power point presentation. The title screen was ‘Why Graham Should Have A Dog’ with a picture of a golden retriever. 

What followed was easily ten minutes of slides and presentation about the benefits of owning dogs, how to properly care for dogs and the proper breeding of dogs. Morland interrupted a slide on proper nail clipping techniques after listening for ten minutes.

“Graham this is very impressive but tell me, have you done your homework?” Morland asked.

“Umm… well, no…but.” Graham said.

Morland sighed heavily. “Go do your homework and we will talk about you getting a dog.”

Graham grinned from ear to ear then scooped up his laptop and projector and rushed up to his room to probably complete his homework in the fastest and most efficient way he had ever done it. 

In the end it was decided that Graham could get a dog. Morland did not actually care, it’s not like it was any actual work for him and he rather enjoyed dogs provided they did not shit on the carpet and stayed where they were supposed to. One of the things that Graham had been very insistent on is that they adopt a dog from a shelter. Morland had been prepared to buy a puppy from a breeder but Graham had insisted on adopting an ‘orphaned’ shelter dog. There had apparently been a fundraiser at school for the animal shelter and he had been inspired, so they went to the animal shelter to find Graham a dog. 

Much to Morland’s surprise Graham was not interested in the puppies. Instead he selected an eleven year old basset hound mix.

“Isn’t he so cute?” Graham asked as the dog licked his face. “He’s perfect.”

“Are you sure you want him?” Morland asked. “He’s old, he might die soon.”

“Yeah, so might you.” Graham shot back.

Morland was a little taken aback but he took it in stride. “Alright so he’s the one.” He said.

“I’m going to name him Wuffles, it’s from a book.” Graham said and that was that. Within the hour they were in the car on the way home with Wuffles licking Graham’s mouth.

“You shouldn’t let him lick your mouth like that, it’s dirty.” Morland said.

“It’s not the worst thing that’s been in my mouth.” Graham shot back.

“Graham!” Morland gasped.

“What? My therapist said I deal with my trauma through inappropriate humor.” Graham said.

“Well I wish you wouldn’t joke like that.” Morland said.

“It’s a coping skill.” Graham protested. “Besides, this dog is supposed to help me with that, dogs are supposed to be good at helping with trauma.”

“Therapy dogs Graham, this is just an elderly mutt you picked up at the pound.” Morland said with a little distaste.

“The best mutt.” Graham said and he hugged the dog tight to his chest. The dog gently woofed his displeasure. “Hey did you ever find my grandmother?” he asked.

“No, sorry, I haven’t really been looking.” Morland said.

“Father!” Graham shrilled, “you promised.”

“I know, I know, I will get to it tomorrow.” Morland said.

“You better.” Graham said with a dark look and he went back to petting his dog.

The next day Morland actually got to work finding Graham’s grandmother. It was actually surprisingly easy, it was all a matter of public record. Her name was a matter of public record. Finding the name was easy, finding the right one was hard. Her name was Champei Keo, he hoped she was the only one in London. He dialed the number he found listed online. It was 4:00 in the afternoon on a Thursday in New York, that meant it was 9:00pm in London. He hoped for an answer.

“Hello?” came a voice.

“Hello, is this Champei Keo?” Morland asked hoping he was not butchering her name, he prided himself on knowing many languages, Cambodian was not one of them. 

“Yes.” She said. “Who is calling.”

“My name is Morland Holmes, did you have a daughter Daevy?” he asked.

“Yes, what is this about?” she asked suspiciously.

“I am calling on behalf of your grandson.” Morland said.

There was a pause. “I have a grandson? Where is my daughter I want to talk to her.” She demanded.

“I…I’m sorry, your daughter died almost two years ago.” He said.

“Oh.” The line went silent for a while. “Are you her husband?” 

“No, I am Morland, your grandson’s father.” He said.

“You’re his father then? Where are you? When can I see him?” She asked. 

“We are in the States, in New York, and I thought it better if you talked to him first.” He said.

“Yes, is here there? Let me talk to him. What’s his name?” she asked. 

“His name is Graham, let me see if he can talk to you.” Morland walked to his son’s room and found Graham seated at his desk with a textbook open and headphones on watching a Youtube video on his phone. He looked up as his father entered and unhooked one headphone. 

“I was just taking a break.” He started to protest.

“It’s your grandmother, she’s on the phone, she wanted to talk to you.” Morland said. 

Graham pulled his headphones off and grabbed his father’s phone. 

“Hello?” He said and then Morland heard excited shouting on the other end of the phone and saw Graham break into a grin.

“No, yeah, I’m fifteen.” He heard.

Morland smiled and left Graham alone to talk to his grandmother for the first time. Morland left them alone for several hours. He checked a few times to find them still talking. When it would have been midnight in London, he went in the room to find Graham laying in the bed, Wuffles at his feet, holding the phone and very softly crying.   
Morland sat on the end of the bed and put one hand on Graham’s legs. 

“What’s wrong?” Morland asked.

“It’s nothing.” Graham said wiping his eyes, “It’s just, I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.” He let out a small sob. “Not even before Mycroft died. I mean before Mycroft died I had stuff with my mom to deal with and I wasn’t sure about how you felt about me and I am pretty sure I should have been on anxiety medication a long time ago because that was always a problem, but now. I mean I still miss Mycroft, but now well, I’m not worried about my mom because the worst has already happened. I have you and Sherlock and Wuffles and now I have a grandmother and…” Graham started crying again. “I didn’t think I’d EVER be this happy. Like I never thought it was possible.” 

Morland remembered what Graham had said about wanting physical intimacy and although he normally would not, he reached over and he wrapped his son in a tight hug. Graham squeezed back and quietly cried on his shoulder.

“I have no idea why I can’t stop crying.” Graham said.

“It’s alright, I love you and I am glad you’re happy.” Morland said.

“I love you too.” He said as the crying subsided.

Graham spent much time over the next few days talking with his grandmother. They talked for hours at a time, she had a lifetime to catch up on. After about a week she started asking him to come and visit. She wanted to see him in person and Graham was eager to see her too. Morland was more cautious, he did not quite trust her yet, he knew nothing about her. He had done a background check on her but it had come back clean, only a few parking tickets. Still he felt a strong need to protect his son. She could be after money after all. He did not want to set up Graham to be hurt again. 

Finally after weeks of begging he did agree.

“But I think it should be someplace public,” Morland insisted.

“Why so I can cry in public now too?” Graham asked sarcastically. 

“No, so that if anything happens we have a safe exit.” Morland said. Graham was getting more and more sarcastic and Morland did not care for the new attitude. The therapist however had disagreed with Morland once again and insisted that this was a positive change, so he tolerated it for now.

“What’s going to happen, she’s my grandmother.” Graham pleaded.

“I don’t know, any of the kinds of things that happened with your mother.” Morland shot back.

Graham reddened at this. It was of course in reference to the multiple times his mother had drunkenly caused a scene at her visitations including the time she had slapped Graham. “She’s not like my mother. She said she doesn’t use drugs, that’s why they didn’t talk for years.”

“Graham you can’t just trust people just because they say things. You trust people too easily and it is going to get you into trouble. You need to trust me on this.” Morland argued ironically.

“So I’m not supposed to trust people but I am supposed to trust you? What kind of message is that?” Graham asked. 

“It’s look, you need to trust that I am looking out for you. I don’t want you to be around someone who will hurt you.” Morland said.

“Yeah well I trusted you to do that before and that backfired spectacularly.” Graham responded. 

“Graham, I am not getting into a fight with you. You are going to be able to see your grandmother. I just want it to be in an environment that you feel safe in. I will also be there just in case something goes wrong.” Morland explained.

“Okay, sorry, I’m just nervous. I don’t want to think about what might go wrong.” Graham said quietly.

“Don’t worry about it, let me worry about that for you.” Morland said.

“Alright, I do trust you.” Graham said, and that was that.

In the end Morland ended up paying for her flight over and her stay in a hotel for two weeks. The first meeting was arranged to be in the dog park after school because despite Graham’s insistence he was not allowed to miss school for this. The dog park was selected because Graham insisted on bringing Wuffles who he claimed was a good judge of character. Morland did not see the appeal of Wuffles who, because he was arthritic, needed to be carried up and down the stairs. But Graham seemed more than happy to tote his dog places. 

Graham had thrown up twice the day they were set to meet her, once in the morning and once right before they were about to leave. Morland was of course concerned but Graham assured him this was a normal thing. He also informed him he had done it every morning his last two years of boarding school. Morland grumbled at the negligence of the school, Graham’s emotional issues extended far deeper than he had ever expected. 

They arrived at the park early, hoping to beat her there and make the experience more comfortable. Graham sat on a bench and absentmindedly petted his dog. Graham was silent and nervously scanned the crowd. They had exchanged pictures so they knew who to look for, he was looking for someone who matched her picture. 

Finally he spotted her, a tiny Cambodian woman with long black hair and grey streaks tied up in a bun. She wore a pink sweater and she scanned the crowd with the same level of concentration. Graham waved at her and she came over grinning, she held out her arms and wrapped Graham into a big hug.

“I recognized you from your blue hair, it sticks out.” She said mid-squeeze. She eventually pulled away and ran her fingers through his hair. Since the start of the year Graham had had it professionally redone so that it looked consistent. “I like it, it’s very cool.” She said with an emphasis on cool. 

She turned to Morland and looked him up and down. “You’re older than I expected.” She said with a frown. 

“Pleasure to meet you Champei.” He said, not sure exactly how to respond to her scrutinizing gaze. 

She then smiled at him, it looked strained. “Nice to meet you too.” She said. She continued her attention on to Graham. 

“You look like your mother.” She said.

“Yeah?” Graham said.

“Yes, I have pictures for you to see, come, sit.” She said and gestured towards a bench.

The three of them sat down and Champei pulled a photo album from her purse. 

“I wanted to show you these.” She said and she proceeded to go through the photo album with Graham. She showed him all the pictures of his mother when she was younger, her birthday parties, cello concerts, all sorts of functions. Graham did not have a photo album to share but he did have access to Mycroft’s old facebook account. He went through and showed all the photos he had of him and Mycroft. Mycroft had taken a lot of photos of them together, in all of them Graham was smiling and mugging for the camera. Morland began to realize just how much of Graham’s childhood he had missed. He began to feel a little sad. 

Things seemed to be going well and when it started to get dark Morland suggested that they go to a restaurant. Champei seemed overwhelmed by the restaurant, but she did not say anything. Morland had not wanted to mention money in case she continually decided to ask for some. He felt paying for her plane ticket and hotel stay were more than enough. He did not know her at all and this was all for Graham. Still things went well for dinner, Graham talked to her about school and various things that were going on in his life. Some things Morland was aware of, other things he was not. He was beginning to feel a little jealous of the ease in which Graham talked to this total stranger. It seemed that Graham would talk to everyone except him. Over a year of therapy and Morland still did not understand why. 

At the end of the dinner Graham excused himself to go to the bathroom and Morland was left alone with Champei. There was silence for a moment and then she spoke.

“He is a good kid, very polite, nice, you did a good job with him.” She said.

“Oh thank you.” Morland said.

“I only wonder why you didn’t contact me sooner. I missed him growing up.” She said angrily.

“I left it up to Daevy how she wanted to deal with her own family. I didn’t think it was my place.” He said.

Champei sniffed. “I wouldn’t have left her in charge of a dog.”

“I see that now.” Morland said. 

“He doesn’t talk about her much, was she at least a good mother to him?” Champei asked. 

Morland considered his answer for a moment and decided to tell her the truth. “No.” 

Champei nodded. “I suspected as much. Drugs were always her problem ever since she was seventeen. You watch out for that with him. I don’t want him going down the same path.”

“Yes, that worries me too.” Morland admitted.

“He says he has a brother with a drug problem. You should watch out for that.” She warned.

“Sherlock has been sober for some time now. I trust that he won’t introduce Graham to anything.” Morland said.

Champei snorted again. “I heard that from my daughter all the time. ‘I’m sober mom I swear’ and then I find needles and she steals from me. I couldn’t take it anymore. I knew she would end like this.”

Morland nodded. “I’m sorry.” He said.

“It’s fine, I always expected the phone call some day. I just didn’t realize it would come two years late.” She said with an accusatory glare. “Still it’s fine, there was always the possibility that I would never know. I lived so many years not knowing if she was alive or dead it is good to at last have peace even if it came so late.”

“I am sorry. I just didn’t think it was my place.” Morland said.

“I know. You two weren’t even in a relationship for long. I can’t expect you to keep track of her family. Still I thank you for finding me now.” She said.

“You’re welcome.” Morland said.

Graham came back to the table then and Champei turned her attention away from Morland and back onto her grandson. She was very loving, Morland had to admit. He also noticed that she was very affectionate, hugs, kisses, all those sorts of things. Daevy had been the same way when they had dated, very affectionate. He wondered if this was the type of affection Graham wanted. He seemed to enjoy it. 

At the end of the day they parted ways, Champei went back to her hotel room and Graham and Morland returned home. In the car ride on the way there Graham was very talkative.

“She’s really nice.” Graham said. 

“She does seem nice.” Morland agreed.

“Yeah, sometimes it’s awkward though. Like she wants to talk about my mom and stuff and it’s neat to find out about her when she was younger but I don’t know what to say about her now. I don’t really want to tell her what she was like. She wasn’t exactly a good person.” Graham admitted.

“I think she knows.” Morland said. 

“Yeah, I guess. She said they had stopped talking because of my mom’s drug use. I think she kind of regrets that though.” Graham said thoughtfully.

“When your children are involved in drugs it is difficult to know how involved to get, I learned that lesson with Sherlock. There came a point where I wanted to help, but felt that I was just enabling him.” Morland admitted.

“Well at least Sherlock got better. Or at least is staying sober, that’s more than my mom ever did.” Graham sighed. “I know a lot about addiction and drugs because of my mom so I know how hard Sherlock must be working to stay sober. I’m really glad he’s doing well but I’m always worried about him.”

“I always worry about him too. That’s the nature of being a parent, you worry about your children.” Morland said. 

“I guess.” Graham said. “I don’t really want you to have to worry about me.”

“I know, but I do. I will always worry about you.” Morland said.

Graham made a face. “I just hate to be a bother.”

“You are not a bother, it’s something you will understand when you are older if you ever become a parent some day you never stop worrying that you’re children are safe.” Morland said.

“I guess.” Graham scrunched up his nose. “I just don’t want anyone to feel bad.”

“It’s not a bad feeling, it’s just always there.” Morland said.

“My grandmother wanted to know how long we were going to stay here. She wanted me to visit her in London, but I wasn’t sure what to tell her. I’m not ready to go back yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.” Graham said.

“You don’t have to tell her anything you don’t want to.” Morland said.

“Yeah, I think she would rather know that I am happy and safe. She doesn’t need to know everything bad that happened to me.” Graham explained.

“Tell her whatever you are comfortable with. You just met her, there’s no reason you have to tell her everything.” Morland said.

“I just feel bad keeping secrets from her because she’s my grandmother, but I am afraid if I tell her it will only make her upset.” Graham said.

Morland sighed. “Look she may be your grandmother but you only met her today. She hasn’t been there for all of it and she won’t be here for all of it. She’s not one of the people you have to tell everything to. I would be more comfortable if you didn’t tell her everything.”

“Really?” Graham asked surprised. “Okay.” 

“You trust too easily, you have a hard time discerning who you can and can’t trust with information.” Morland explained.

Graham made a face. “Sherlock said the same thing. I just thought he was being paranoid.”

“I may be a little paranoid, but I am paranoid for good reason. People can use that trust to hurt you.” Morland explained. 

“I don’t think my grandmother is going to hurt me.” Graham shot back.

“I am not saying she will mean to, I am just saying it might happen.” Morland said.

“I haven’t told her I’m gay yet. I don’t know how she’ll react.” Graham admitted.

This had surprised Morland, especially since Graham was so out at school. “Well that is something between you and her. I won’t interfere.”

“Yeah, I’ll tell her eventually. I just want to see how she’ll react first.” Graham said.

“Take your time.” Morland said and smiled. He wasn’t as jealous as he previously thought.

Champei spent two weeks in total in New York. They spent every day together, until it was time for her to return to England. They brought her to the airport and Graham embraced her tightly. 

“I will be back.” She said. “Next time, maybe next time you will come and visit me.”

“Yeah we’ll see.” Graham said as she departed.

Graham was happy for weeks afterwards. He did his homework without complaint, or at least fewer complaints. He kept busy after school as well with projects and with Sherlock. However as the weeks passed he noticed a shift in Graham’s behavior. He started coming straight home after school and locking himself in his bedroom. He barely came out at all except for school and sometimes to eat. Morland told himself not to worry about it, but still he worried all the same. Finally he went to check on him. 

He knocked on the door and received no response. He debated walking away and leaving Graham his privacy, but he guessed that Graham may just not have heard him. He opened the door and saw Graham lying on his back on his bed with his headphones on and his phone in his hand. Graham was startled when he saw the door open, he dropped his phone and pulled off his headphones, music poured out. He fiddled with his phone until it stopped.

“Father?” Graham asked, “Did you want something?”

“No, I was just checking on you.” Morland said.

“Oh. Okay, I’m okay.” Graham said.

Morland was ready to leave it at that, but he remembered what he had learned in therapy, to try to be more receptive, so he pushed a little harder. “Are you sure? You haven’t been going to Sherlock’s and you’ve been spending a lot of time in your room.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Well as okay as I am going to be. It’s just that December and Christmas time are a hard time for me. A lot of bad stuff happened to me around this time of year. Also, I don’t believe in God anymore so, I don’t see the point of Christmas.” Graham shrugged.

“I thought you enjoyed Christmas last year?” Morland asked.

“Yeah, I mean it was okay. I liked everyone coming over, it’s just I get stuck in my own head. I’m trying not to, but it’s hard.” Graham said.

“Is there anything you would like to do this Christmas?” Morland asked.

“I don’t know, could we go away somewhere? We can invite Sherlock and Joan if she wants. I don’t want to be alone on Christmas, I just don’t want to be here.” Graham explained.

“Is there anything wrong with school?” Morland asked.

“No, school is fine. Everything is okay, I just, I don’t know, I just feel the need to escape.” Graham said.

“You can’t always escape from your problems.” Morland began.

“I know that, you think I don’t know that? Look I go to school everyday, I do all of my homework, I go to therapy twice a week, I am doing everything I am supposed to I just still feel like I need to get out. It’s not like I’m asking to quit school or anything, I’m just asking to go away for Christmas holiday.” Graham explained.

“Well it is short notice, but I can see what we can do. Is there anywhere you would like to go?” Morland asked.

“I don’t know, maybe the ski lodge? I have good memories there with Mycroft. I think that might help. He brought me there for Christmas a few times, it was always fun.” Graham said.

“Alright.” Morland said, “I will see what I can do.”

“Thanks, I know it will get better for me, it’s been better before and I know this is temporary. It’s just sometimes hard being around Sherlock when I feel like this. He, well he tries but he is very much of the opinion that you should ‘push through it’ and ‘not dwell on it’ and I tried that but honestly? I think I just need to feel sad right now.”

Morland nodded, he did not know what to say to that. Graham was expressing an emotional maturity that he did not know if he himself possessed. He was of a similar mindset to Sherlock, he pushed through his own pain and ignored it as best he could using it as motivation to work harder. He had tried to encourage the same strategy in Graham but that had backfired spectacularly. He suspected that a lot of the things that came out of Graham’s mouth lately were direct quotes from his therapist but he was not sure he minded that. At least he seemed to be getting something out of it. Morland was never good with emotions, but Graham seemed to be, he was a little proud of him for understanding so much.

“I am proud of you, you know that?” Morland blurted out.

“Yeah? For what, I haven’t exactly done anything lately.” Graham said.

“For getting through all of this, I am sorry you have not had an easier life, but I am proud of you.” Morland repeated.

Graham shrugged. “I mean what choice do I have? I already messed up suicide.” He said sarcastically. “No but I know I shouldn’t say stuff like that. My therapist says I should get better at taking compliments. Thank you.”

“You are welcome.” Morland said. “I will be downstairs if you need me.” He said and he started to close the door.

Graham put his headphones back on and lay back down on the bed. The worry Morland felt did not go away. It hurt him to know his child was in pain. It hurt him to know that there was very little he could do about it. There were things he should have done, but it was too late for all of that and Morland regretted being so absent from Graham’s life. He had thought it would be better for him, but the past year and a half had taught him the damage he had caused. There was no taking it back. He would have to do what he could for the future.


End file.
